


Promises (are the hardest to keep)

by Story_ii_Character



Category: Supergirl, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Sanvers, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Language, Major Character Injury, Space Dad Hank Henshaw | J'onn J'onzz, SuperCorp, Violence, lots of Danvers Sisters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-11-07 14:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Story_ii_Character/pseuds/Story_ii_Character
Summary: "Please! Don't do this!" Lena's voice is raw, cracking like the grey skies above them. She doesn't care that she's begging, all pretense of Luthor poise abandoned in favor of the desperate plea.This time Lillian turns to address her daughter, her expression a warped combination of disapproval, pity and care. "This is for your own good."She raises the gun again, eyes alight with victory.





	1. Devastation/Revelation

_"No-"_

Lena's yell is cut short by the sharp crack of gunfire. She watches in horror as Supergirl jerks with the force of the impact, the hero's face twisting in agony.

Renewing her struggles against the grasp of the Cadmus goons holding her, desperate to cross the distance to where her mother stands- to do something, _anything_ , to stop her- a small part of Lena's brain lingers on how foreign, how _wrong_ the pain looks on Supergirl's face.

She's seen Supergirl vulnerable, gazing into the night sky, the loss of her world painted across her features. She's seen her angry, determined, protective, steel shining in her eyes. Most often she's seen her proud, confident, hopeful- spreading her light to everyone she touches.

And a few rare, precious times, Lena has seen something she can't quite explain- a smile different from the one she gives freely to the masses. Softer, with a fondness that Lena can't quite believe would be directed at her.

Lena slips an arm free and hears- feels- a satisfying crack as her captor's nose breaks beneath the snap of her elbow.

She makes it only a few steps before she's stopped again, men in dark tactical gear forcing her to her knees, the gravel of the rooftop biting through the fine weave of her dress pants.

"Mother, stop! PLEASE."

Lillian just smiles as she casually aims the gun and fires another round, the glowing green bullet striking Supergirl in the chest. She staggers back a step, teetering on the edge.

"Please! Don't do this!" Lena's voice is raw, cracking like the grey skies above them. She doesn't care that she's begging, all pretense of Luthor poise abandoned in favor of the desperate plea.

This time Lillian turns to address her daughter, her expression a warped combination of disapproval, pity and care. "This is for your own good."

She raises the gun again, eyes alight with victory.

Lena casts her gaze to Supergirl, the hero curled in on herself, blood slipping through her fingers where they press against her abdomen, somehow still on her feet.

Supergirl slowly looks up, not at Lillian, but past her, to Lena. Their eyes meet, the pain etched across her face easing into something gentler. She tilts her head, golden curls pushed about by the wind, offering Lena one of those rare smiles: sorrow and comfort and _knowing_ all wrapped in one look.

The gesture is achingly familiar, the expression one Lena's seen before-

_I'm so sorry._

_I believe in you._

_You're not going to lose me._

_You don't have to be afraid. I'm right here._

_I will always protect you. I promise._

_Always._

 

Something slides into place, _clicks_ , like the precisely crafted pieces of one of her inventions. 

 

Lena stares into brilliant blue eyes and she _knows_.

  
But when the last shot rings out she can only watch, the strangled sound escaping her throat torn away by the wind as Supergirl- _KARA_ - disappears over the edge of the roof.


	2. Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man you all are wonderful! Thanks to everyone who read and especially those who responded to the first chapter- you've inspired me greatly. Here we go!

Alex strides through the NCPD perimeter, her confident pace doing just as much as the flash of her badge to establish her authority.

She spots Maggie near the mobile command unit, head bent over something rolled out on a folding table, the SWAT commander pointing something out at Maggie's side. As Alex nears she picks up the tail end of their conversation.

"- until we get the all-clear from Supergirl."

"We can't wait much longer, detective."

The SWAT commander notices Alex approaching and holds a hand out. "Sue Epstein, tactical response."

"Alex Danvers, FBI." She skips right to business. "What's the situation? I got a call when we heard Cadmus might be on site."

Maggie nods once to her fiancé, the only acknowledgment she or Alex needs while they're in the field. She motions toward L-Corp, half a block away and gleaming despite the grey skies above them.

"Twenty minutes ago multiple armed men stormed the L-Corp lobby. Witness accounts range anywhere from 10 to 20 assailants. They're guarding the entrances, firing warning shots out of windows on the fourth floor anytime someone gets close. We've established a 2-block perimeter and have officers posted at each of the surrounding buildings to keep everyone inside."

Alex nods. That matches the intel she got from Winn on her way here.

Sue adds, "We suspect they're using a signal jammer- no response to our attempts to contact them, and no word from anyone on the inside since the lobby was breached."

Alex and Maggie share a brief concerned look. _Lena._

"And the Cadmus connection?" Alex asks.

Maggie's eyes harden a bit. "Someone matching Lillian Luthor's description entered the building with the others."

Alex's own anger at the mention of the Luthor matron is visible only by the tightening of her jaw muscle. "And Supergirl?"

"Arrived on scene about five minutes ago, stopped here briefly for a sit rep before entering through one of the upper floors. She was supposed to recon, clear the entrances for us, and report back." Maggie is unable to hide her concern. "We were just weighing the likelihood she's been delayed by something unexpected from Cadmus."

Alex's frown deepens and she instinctively looks up at the building, eyes searching for her sister.

Maggie turns to Sue. "We can give her a little more time. Let's go ahead and prep for a breach, and if we haven't heard back from Supergirl in another five minutes we'll look at our options again."

Sue raises a hand to shield her eyes from the wind as she assesses the building once more. She looks back down at the table, taps a knuckle once on the building schematic there and then nods to Maggie before walking off to her unit.

As soon as she's out of range Alex activates her comms. "Winn, any word from Supergirl?"

"Not since she entered the building. I'm working to remotely disable their jammer but until then we're-"

The pop of a gunshot interrupts him.

Maggie and Alex instinctively crouch, drawing their weapons as they move to take cover behind the command unit. Alex allows herself a moment to sweep Maggie's form, assuring herself she's not hit. Maggie meets Alex's eyes after doing the same.

"You good?"

"Yeah. Did you see where it came from?"

Maggie shakes her head. "Sounded like-"

Another shot rings out.

Maggie nods. "Definitely up high." She leans around the edge of the van to get a look. "Nobody in the window they were shooting from before."

Alex moves to the other end to do the same, gun raised as she scans the building. "Doesn't sound like a rifle, and you'd think a sniper shot would be aimed this way. I don't think-" Alex's gun lowers. "Supergirl?"

The name comes out softly, as a question. Maggie hears this and crosses to Alex's side, following her gaze up, up, to the very top of L-Corp where a splash of bright red is visible, blowing in the wind.

Alex squints. "What is she-"

_Crack!_

Even at this distance Alex sees Kara's body jerk backwards, and then Kara's flying- no, _falling_.

A strangled sound escapes Alex's throat. She's running, sprinting, without any conscious decision to do so, eyes glued to her sister's limp form as she plummets toward the ground.

_No. No. No._

The word throbs in her mind in time with her pounding heart and heaving breath.

_No. No. No._

_Please._

She knows she can't catch Kara, but it doesn't matter. Her heart believes that if she can just get there before-

Supergirl hits the ground and the impact is like an explosion.

The shock wave knocks Alex off her feet. A massive cloud of dust and debris spreads in every direction, billowing out between the gaps in the buildings, rolling down the street. Alex pushes herself up on her hands and knees, ears ringing. She starts to get up but stops when the world _tilts_.

Alex closes her eyes and breathes deeply through her nose.

_One. Two. Three._

_Get up._

She makes it to her feet again mostly by sheer willpower. _Kara_.

Hands on knees as she gathers her equilibrium, Alex peers through the haze for any sign of her sister.

The smoke is thick, swirling in eddies, pushed about by the wind from the incoming storm front. A gust of wind wraps around Alex, brushing her auburn waves forward. A gap opens in front of her. _There._

Running again, Alex's hearing clears. It's eerily quiet, a blanket of grey thrown over the world. Everything is muffled: her breathing, the scuff and scrape of her steps.

She's clambering over an upended piece of street when she spots a bit of red at the epicenter of the debris and her heart jumps.

"KARA!"

Alex skids down the slab of cement, boots crunching as she lands. She sprints forward and drops to her knees at her sister's side.

"Kara?" No response.

She leans forward and gently rolls Kara onto her back so she can see Kara's face, get a better look at her injuries.

 

Alex's world stops.

 

Supergirl is nearly unrecognizable, the bright blue of her suit washed in grey, the dust coloring everything ashen except the shining red of her blood.

And there's a lot of it- it's coating the side of her face Alex couldn't see before, dripping now into her blonde-grey hair. It’s flecked across her arms and shoulders. The crest and much of her torso is covered with it.

"Ka-" Alex's voice breaks, choking on a sob. Raising a fist to her mouth she bites hard on a knuckle. She tries again, smoothing Kara's hair back, framing her face briefly with gentle hands. "Kara, can you hear me?"

No response. She rests a finger lightly against Kara's throat.

"Oh thank God." Alex's head drops in relief as she exhales the breath she'd been holding.

Alex taps her comms, miraculously still in place. "Winn I need a medevac outside L-Corp, now. Supergirl is down."

"Already on their way."

Alex takes in the sight in front of her again. "Hurry."

She clicks her earpiece off and starts using the cape to wipe blood off Kara's suit, searching for the wounds to begin treating them. Her movements are quick, practiced, her panic lessening slightly now that help is on the way and she knows Kara is _breathing_.

Kara stirs as Alex begins applying pressure to stop the bleeding, makes a keening sound that Alex feels deep in her chest. Alex's hands hover on either side of Kara's head.

"Kara?" She searches Kara's face for signs of life. "It's Alex. It's Alex, can you hear me?"

Kara lets out a pained breath. "Alex?" Her voice is rough, barely audible.

"I'm right here. I'm right here, Sis."

Kara is struggling to breathe, wheezing, each breath more of a struggle than the next. Alex’s own chest tightens as she positions her ear to Kara's, listening to her lungs.

_Not good. Where's that medevac? Where's J'onn?_

"Kara, hey, look at me." Kara's eyes flutter open, find Alex directly above her. "There you go- stay with me ok? Help is on the way I just need you to hold on a little longer.”

Kara’s eyes close but her hand comes up to weakly grip Alex’s arm, squeezing in acknowledgement. Suddenly she frowns and opens her eyes again.

“Lena,” she wheezes, her grip tightening. She meets Alex’s eyes and Alex can see the fear there. “Lillian has Lena.”

Alex holds Kara’s hand against her arm with her own, determination in her voice. “We’ll get her back.”

Kara nods and starts to close her eyes but is suddenly taken by a fit of coughing. The sound is deep, and wet, and painful. Alex does what she can to try and soothe Kara even as her own fear is threatening to drown her. “Shhh. Okay, you’re okay. That’s it.”

The coughing subsides but Kara’s breathing is even worse, slow, labored. She reaches a hand up to touch Alex’s cheek, drawing her attention from where she was looking around desperately for the help that was promised. “Alex. Find Lena.” A pause to catch her breath. “Promise me.”

Alex sees something terrifying in Kara’s eyes. “No. You’re- you’re going to be fine.” Her voice breaks on the last word and she feels tears begin to slip down her cheeks. She brushes Kara’s hair back again. “We’re going to save her together. You’ve just got to- just stay with me, okay?”

Kara smiles at Alex, her own tears mingling with the blood and dirt. There’s a confidence, a reassurance in Kara’s eyes even as it’s clear she’s slipping away. “I love you.”

An aching sob escapes Alex’s mouth. Her head drops, tears flowing freely now.

_No. Please no. Not Kara. I can’t-_

Alex shakes her head.

There’s just not enough time.

Steeling herself, Alex looks back up, her own breaths shaking. If these are their last moments together, she’s going to spend them well. She frames Kara’s face with her hands, fingers tangled in blonde hair, thumbs smoothing along Kara’s temples.

“I love you, you hear me? I love you so much. I am so proud of you. So proud to be your sister.”

Alex smiles at Kara through her tears. “You are the best thing that happened to our family, to me. And I wouldn’t trade any of it- not even what happened with Dad- because I can’t-“ She has to look away for a moment, gather herself. “I can’t imagine life without you. _El mayarah._ You- you make me better. You’ve always been Supergirl- even before all of this, before you put on the cape. You, _Kara,_ have always been a hero. My hero.”

Another sob escapes as Alex tries her best to memorize each of Kara’s features- those bright blue eyes, strength and kindness shining in them even now, the smile she reserves just for the people she loves.

“You will always be my sister and I will always, always love you.”

The wail of a siren cuts through the smoke and Alex’s head snaps up. “They’re here. It’s going to be okay Kara-“

 

But when she looks back down Kara’s eyes are closed, her body still.

 

Suddenly Alex is standing in the living room of their childhood home, as strangers tell her her father is dead.

She's on Krypton, hand stretched desperately toward Kara’s, clawing her way toward her sister.

She's in the control center at the DEO, making a promise she doesn't want to keep. She doesn't want to live her life, find love- not if Kara's not there to share it with her.

She's looking at her father down the barrel of her rifle, her heart breaking.

She's surrounded by the deep rumbling of engines, hand pressed against the glass, willing her belief in Kara to give her sister strength. She's memorizing Kara's face in case it's the last time she'll ever see it.

 

Alex's hands shake as they hover over Kara’s broken body. She needs to do something- start CPR, reapply pressure to the wounds, tell the medics to get their asses here _now_ \- but she _can’t_.

 

Alex thinks maybe her heart has stopped too.

 

She can’t move except to press her forehead to Kara’s as the grief takes her.

 

_Please. Don’t go._

 

///

 

That’s how Maggie finds them, moments later: the fallen hero, battered and bloody, and the broken agent, shattered by grief.

Lightning flashes, throwing the scene in sharp relief and thunder cracks, rending the sky in two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh geez, I'm so sorry. Apparently I'm only capable of writing angst.
> 
> A side note: I have no idea if the sound of the gunshots would carry all the way to the ground but I'll just count on you guys suspending your disbelief with me ;)
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!


	3. Triage

_ "Trust your gut."  _

 

That's what Maggie's aunt used to say, and Maggie has learned, through hard-won experience, on the job and off, that she's right. Ten years as a cop and it's still the best advice she's ever received. (That and, "wear your damn vest." But that goes without saying, right?)

 

So when Maggie wakes that morning to an odd feeling tugging at the back of her mind, she takes note. She texts Alex (who left early for her shift at the DEO) good morning and maybe slips a “call me over lunch, okay?” in there too. She triple-checks her mental list heading out the door (gun, phone, wallet. Check.) and she continues on with her day, though the feeling doesn't leave. 

 

Maggie sinks into her chair at the precinct, armed with a fresh coffee and ready to take on the pile of paperwork she's got waiting. She slides a second coffee across to her partner. He gives a noncommittal grunt and she kicks his shin under the desk, not looking at him. 

 

She hears him curse, and then he leans around their computer monitors. " _Thank you_ , Detective." She smirks. Nick Collins’ ability to match her for snark and sarcasm is one of the reasons their new partnership works so well, and something she loves about him- not that she’d ever admit that to his face.

 

They settle into an amicable silence, and it's not long before Maggie's attention is pulled away again by that nagging feeling. Something is off. But that’s the trouble- sometimes her gut is reminding her she forgot to file a report the night before, or her keys are still on the counter, or she left her jacket at home.

 

And sometimes it's telling her shit's about to hit the fan and she'd better be ready.

 

This feels like the latter, but she won’t know until she knows. Maggie gulps down the last of her coffee and digs back into the paperwork.

 

By some miracle she's able to force herself to concentrate for another half hour before she gives herself a break and gets up to refill their cups. She’s standing at the counter in the break room when she sees several officers run by in tactical gear, and a moment later Nick pokes his head in. “Possible hostage situation at L-Corp. We gotta go.”

 

Maggie’s heart drops. _Lena._ Even if the CEO isn’t there and in danger (she hopes to God she’s not) Maggie knows how much Lena cares for her employees and the company she’s worked so hard to rebuild. This can only mean trouble for her.

 

When the words “Cadmus” and “Lillian Luthor” are spoken during their briefing she thinks, _Shit, meet Fan._

 

But as she straps on her vest and triple checks her gear as they drive across the city, her underlying worry eases a bit. At least now she knows what her gut was warning her about, right?

 

It’s not until a couple of hours later when Supergirl falls and Alex takes off at a sprint ( _dammit Danvers!_ ) leaving Maggie scrambling to catch up that she realizes her gut was right but _she_ was wrong.

 

Very, very wrong. 

 

And when she slides down the same broken piece of road that Alex had, she realizes no amount of warning could’ve prepared her for _this_ : emerging from the smoke to find her fiancé holding the broken and battered body of her little sister.

 

_Oh God- Kara_.

 

Gravel crunches under her boots as she runs forward. “Alex!” A crack of thunder drowns out her call. "Alex!"

 

Alex looks up at her helplessly, tears streaming down her cheeks. "She's not breathing, I can't- I can't feel her heartbeat."

 

Maggie forces her own reaction aside (she'll process later, probably with a very nice bottle of scotch) to kneel in the rubble. Alex is pale, hands shaking, clearly in shock, and as much as Maggie’s heart aches for her- she’s going to need Alex to snap out of it for them to have any chance of saving Kara.

 

Maggie checks Kara’s vitals for herself, “Kara, can you hear me?” and starts administering CPR.

 

_Hang in there Little Danvers._

 

During the first few compressions she stuffs her own emotions as far down as they’ll go- she needs to be calm and clear-headed, for all of their sakes.

 

“Danvers.” Maggie’s voice is firm, but Alex doesn’t move at all from where she’s holding Kara’s hand, eyes unfocused. She looks so… _lost_. Maggie fights the stabbing feeling of pain in her chest at seeing Alex this way.

 

_Ok. I’m sorry Babe._ Maggie channels her old training officer, doing what he did the first time she froze on the job. 

 

She flicks Alex in the nose, hard.

 

Alex winces, head snapping up instinctually, the surprise and pain breaking into her stupor. “What the h-“

 

Maggie cuts her off, voice full of authority, leaving no room for argument. “Danvers. I need your help. _She,_ ” Maggie points at Kara with her chin, “needs your help.”

 

Alex’s gaze gets more focused. _There you go._

 

“You’re going to take over for me here, starting with two breaths, then compressions. In ten, nine, eight…” 

 

As Maggie counts down she sees the moment ‘Agent Danvers’ takes over, training and experience kicking in once she’s given something concrete to do to help. Alex’s eyes clear, she briskly wipes her cheeks on her sleeves and repositions herself across from Maggie, smoothly picking up the rhythm once Maggie hits “one.”

 

Maggie moves out of Alex’s way, working around her to try and stop the bleeding. She’d given Alex the job of doing CPR because… well, because Alex’s hands are already red with her sister’s blood and she’s seen her fair share of wounds, of blood, but this? She already knows this scene will be burned in her memory. 

 

So she can take this one- she can be strong for them both, find the holes in the Kara’s suit, use the cape to apply pressure, let the warm crimson seep into her hands instead of Alex’s. She can. 

 

Maggie swallows hard, fighting the urge to throw up even as she presses harder.

 

She ignores the cuts on Kara’s hairline and brow, the graze across her shoulder (if you can call it a graze- the tear is jagged and deep) in favor of the wounds that are bleeding more heavily. 

 

_Triage._

 

Assigning degrees of urgency.

 

It’s not a new concept. They teach triage to EMS and other first responders. Maggie always felt like it applied just as aptly to everyday life. There are always so many options, you know? It’s a constant evaluation of which people, what things require the most attention; what a person chooses to spend their time on, who they spend their time with. 

 

It’s not the first time Maggie has used triage in a critical situation. 

 

It’s not the first time she’s applied it to her personal life. 

 

It’s not even the first time she’s had to do both at the _same_ time (she tries _very_ hard not to see Alex floating lifeless in a tank. Not helpful.) but she desperately hopes it will be the last.

 

(With their jobs, somehow that seems unlikely.)

 

Waiting for the EMS to arrive, staring through the smoke, her ears straining for some sign of them, Maggie reflects that she's got a new taste for what Kara went through when Alex was kidnapped. 

 

That day was rough on her relationship with the younger Danvers, but they've come incredibly far since then. A deeper respect and understanding of each other started on the foundation of that shared trauma, and was built upon in the months that followed as they both made intentional efforts both professionally and personally. A few months ago, Kara would’ve charged into L-Corp without consulting the NCPD. Today, she had stopped for a sit rep from Maggie even though Kara’s worry for Lena had been clearly written across her face. She’d accepted their direction, had trusted Maggie’s tactical experience.

 

_Not that it did her any good._

 

Maggie pushes the thought aside.

 

They’d been working together for months, consulting with Lucy Lane to combat the “Supergirl Defense,” finding ways to utilize Kara’s exceptional abilities without compromising good police work. It had been challenging at times, certainly, but, God- they’ve made so much progress, and-

 

And somewhere along the way… she'd been pulled into Kara's orbit. 

 

Like the others in their ragtag group- their found family- Kara had adopted her, willingly sharing her light. And like the sun, she couldn’t help but turn her face toward that warmth. 

 

She’d learned that Kara’s optimism helps balance Alex's (and Maggie's own) natural skepticism and cynicism. She’d seen that Kara's love for Alex runs deep and strong, Alex returning it just as fiercely. It had challenged Maggie - the closest she's come to a familial bond like that was with the aunt who took her in as a teenager. At first she was unsure how she would fit… Alex she was certain of- ride or die, right? But within this tight-knit family, would there be room for her? 

 

But she needn't have worried. They just... expanded, opening up and tucking her in alongside them- all three Danvers women. The same went for the rest of the group. And for the first time in a long time Maggie feels what so many other people talk about: that sense of belonging, bonds that run deeper than friendship, the safety and security that comes with knowing you are known and loved and wanted, unconditionally.

 

Maggie figures she should've realized, with how much she loves Alex, and how much Alex loves Kara, that this would happen- that she'd come to love Kara too. And she does- she loves this vibrant young woman who has experienced so much loss, but still offers her heart and hope so freely. She loves Kara for how she loves Alex, of course- but she also just loves her for who she is: brave and dorky and smart and stubborn and kind and so much more than most people get to see. Kara Zor-el, survivor, sister, friend, savior, and now- 

 

And now Maggie's hovering over the closest thing she's ever had to a sister, hot blood seeping through red fabric, squinting through the haze of dust for the medics Alex had called. 

 

They’re- they’re gonna get through this. 

 

And then she’s going to need a really big glass of scotch.

 

The medics arrive within a few minutes- minutes that feel like an eternity. Once there, everything speeds up and it feels like just seconds before Kara is intubated, strapped to a back board and they're helping carry her over the rubble to the waiting SUV. Maggie almost laughs- if the portable sun lamp they place on Kara isn't already a giveaway that the "EMS" are actually DEO agents, the black vehicle screams "government agency" loud and clear. But the haze is still thick and there’s no one to see it anyway. (She's aware enough to note that this is not a necessary observation right now and, ok yeah, maybe she's not doing as good shoving her reaction down as she thought.)

 

Alex climbs into the back with Kara and the medics, not asking if there's room, just situating herself at the head of the gurney where she takes over the oxygen bag. 

 

Maggie is debating trying to squeeze in as well when she hears, "Detective!" 

One of the agents (short hair, the one Alex talks about like a friend- Vasquez?) exits from the front and offers her seat. 

 

Vasquez hands Maggie a business card ("FBI Cyber Crimes and Technical Operations." That's a good one). "I'll let your division know where you are, help coordinate with NCPD while you're away. That's my number, call me if you think of something time sensitive."

 

Maggie hesitates as she remembers for the first time that she's on duty, had been running the scene. She hadn't even considered staying but there is still a job to do.

 

Vasquez seems to sense her dilemma. "Ma'am, if I may- you can give your account of what went down just as easily from the DEO. We'll stay in touch and pool resources to figure it all out. In the meantime, I've worked with the tactical commander, Epstein, before- we've got this handled.” She places a hand on Maggie’s shoulder, jerking her chin toward the SUV. “Go."

 

Maggie feels one portion of the vice around her chest ease. She holds the agent's gaze. "Thank you."

 

Vasquez nods and it's clear this is personal for her too. She looks soberly toward the rear of the vehicle where one of the medics is pulling the doors closed."Take care of our girls."

 

Maggie's returning nod is a promise.

 

She clambers in. The swirling clouds suddenly let loose, rain pattering against the metal. Vasquez slaps the outside of the vehicle twice and they speed away with their precious cargo. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever to get out to you guys! 
> 
> I have a LOT of the later parts of this story written, but none of these next few chapters (because having it come to me chronologically would be too easy) and THEN I got distracted writing another piece ("The Sun Will Rise Again") after seeing Wonder Woman for a second time (not gonna lie, I’m pretty proud of how it turned out and I’d love to hear what you think). 
> 
> BUT I’ve got the next chapter ready and it’ll post within a couple of days, so hopefully that makes up for some of the delay.
> 
> As always, please feel free to let me know your thoughts and reactions- I absolutely love to hear from you!


	4. No Day Guaranteed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days guys its a miracle.

They get Kara's heartbeat back partway through the drive to the DEO.

 

Alex is seated at Kara's head, one hand squeezing the bag at steady intervals, the other pressed against Kara's temple. Maggie's twisted around in the front seat, one hand braced against the dash, the other on Alex's back, the contact essential for both of them. Drowned out by the engine and the cacophony of medical jargon from the medics, "stay with me," is all she catches of the constant stream of words Alex directs at Kara. 

 

"Got her back!" 

It’s shouted by one of the medics and has Alex directing a watery smile over her shoulder to Maggie. 

 

_Ok. Ok._

 

Kara crashes again just as they enter the infirmary. 

 

///

 

J’onn is in Washington D.C. when it all happens. President Marsden asked him to liaison in several closed-door meetings with the heads of various government agencies as they evaluate the effectiveness of the Alien Amnesty Act and consider next steps in both opportunities for alien refugees and precautions to take for national security. They go well- better than he had expected- but he’s lived too long to be anything more than cautiously optimistic about the direction the country is headed.

 

As J’onn steps out of his last meeting- one that was productive, if lengthy-he reaches into his suit coat for his phone, noting several dozen missed calls just before it rings in his hand.

 

Winn Schott.

 

“Agent Schott.”

 

“J’onn-“ Winn sounds relieved and distraught at the same time. J’onn turns down a side hallway for some privacy.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Sir, it’s- it’s Supergirl. She’s been shot.”

 

 

///

 

 

J’onn isn’t as fast as Supergirl, but he gets damn near close flying back from D.C.

 

He enters the DEO through the main balcony, shifting as he lands, jogging down the stairs, following the waves of anguish rolling off Alex. They may not be linked the way he and M’gann are, but even without reaching for her mind, he’s always somewhat aware of Alex, her emotional state something he can’t help but pick up on. 

 

As soon as he enters the building, her grief hits him like a physical blow. 

 

Years of experience keep his exterior calm, in control. Internally he battles the rising fear he may be about to lose another daughter. He’s been unreachable for hours- _hours_. So much could’ve happened-

 

He rounds the corner into the hallway outside the surgical suite and stops in his tracks.

 

Alex is on the floor, back against the wall, elbows propped on her knees, staring unseeingly at the opposite wall. 

 

He drops into a crouch in front of her. Maggie, next to her, meets his gaze but doesn’t move and he’s unsettled by what he sees in Maggie’s eyes. 

 

More unsettling still is the blood covering them both.

 

“Alex?” he tries, gently.

 

It takes a few seconds, and then she responds, her eyes aimed at his chest but unfocused, seeing something else. “She’s not healing.”

 

“Kara?”

 

Maggie’s the one who nods, her gaze now fixed on Alex.

 

Alex continues like she hadn’t heard him.

 

“We got the bullets out right away. She’s been under the lamps but…”

 

When Alex doesn’t finish, Maggie continues. “We think she may have blown her powers somewhere between fighting off her wounds and trying to protect herself from the fall. So now she’s…” J’onn sees the completion of that sentence in her eyes. _Human. Normal. As vulnerable as the rest of us._

 

She looks at J’onn and he realizes that some of the forcefulness of the anguish he felt when he landed can be attributed to the detective. “She’s in surgery again. They’re still trying to stop the bleeding.”

 

A movement from Alex catches their attention. She’s absentmindedly rubbing her hands together, the friction of her fingers causing the blood dried there to flake off in tiny brown specks. Maggie looks at her own hands and then down at herself like she’s remembering just now that she’s got blood all over.

 

J’onn extends his mental reach, listening in on the surgery happening on the other side of the wall. The doctors are focused but not frantic, Kara’s heart is beating steadily in the background. He needs to see her- but he needs to tend to the women in front of him first.

 

He slowly reaches out a hand to Alex. He’d been resisting the urge to comfort her with touch, following Maggie’s lead as the detective sat near but not touching her fiancé.

 

When his hand wraps around hers, stilling their motion, she starts a little and finally meets his eyes. “Alex.”

 

He waits until her gaze focuses on him. “Kara’s in surgery.” He repeats what Maggie had said as if Alex hadn’t heard, adding his own assessment of the operation. “She’s stable for now.” 

 

He looks at Maggie and back to Alex. “You two are going to go get cleaned up.” He says it gently, but phrases it as an order, knowing they likely haven’t moved from this spot for several hours and will need the push. “I’ll be right here and I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

 

He’s expecting a fight, for Alex to insist on staying. Instead she nods numbly, allowing him to pull her to her feet, and the lack of resistance tells him a lot about how trying the last few hours have been. Maggie waves off his hand and he can tell by the curl of her fingers she’s hyper-aware of the blood on them and not willing to touch his hand while it’s there. 

 

She does, however, extend a hand to Alex as she leads the way down the hall and J’onn’s heart eases slightly when Alex takes it.

 

When he’s sure they are headed to the locker rooms to follow his directive he turns and walks into the surgical observation room, needing to see Kara for himself.

 

///

 

It’s worse than he imagined.

 

Kara is nearly unrecognizable- at least, from what he can see between the flurries of movement from the doctors and surgical staff.

 

Gone is her bright super suit, cut off and tossed to the side in their haste to get at her wounds. Bereft of those signature colors, she doesn’t look like one of the most powerful beings on the planet. She looks human, and so very fragile. Her hair is more grey than gold, matted and crimson in spots. The side of her face J’onn can see is marred by cuts and bruises and hastily-swiped blood. Much of her figure is obscured by blue surgical cloth or once-white gauze that is tinged red.

 

The metal window sill under his hands gives a groan of protest and he takes a step back, swallowing hard. 

 

Many, many years of living have taught him that life is fragile and no day is guaranteed. He spent a lot of those years in hiding; from those who would persecute him for what he is… and also from anyone who might get close enough that their loss might cause him agony as the loss of his family has. 

 

And yet, here he is again, facing into that heartache. 

 

Except this time he is not alone. And this time, he knows what Kara, what Alex, what M’gann- what they _all_ have taught him: stronger together. Loss and heartache are a fair price to pay for the joy and purpose and love of having a _family._

 

But Kara will pull through. He feels the thought settle deeply in his chest. She’ll pull through. Though he honestly doesn’t know what will become of these people, this family, if she doesn’t.

 

He crosses his arms and settles in to keep watch over the young hero as she fights for her life and they fight to help her keep it.

 

///

 

Maggie leads Alex down the muted grey corridors, the slight scuffs of their feet loud against the solemn stillness of the empty hallways. It's late, and though the evenings are staffed near the same as the days, they don't run into anyone as they wind deeper into the building. 

 

Maggie's grateful. Pulled from her own shock by J'onn's arrival, she can objectively see the state they're in, and it's not pretty. Plus Alex has yet to lose the far-off gaze she sank into after they shocked Kara's heart back into rhythm the third time. 

 

She pauses at an intersection, knowing they're close to the locker rooms but, well, it would be too easy to add a few signs, right? Best not to have any indicators in a labyrinthian facility like this. For “national security.”

 

Her internal dialogue is interrupted by a slight tug on her hand as Alex pulls them to the right. Maggie holds in her sigh of relief at the sign of life from her fiancé. Alex still looks... lost, fractured. Not as broken as that first moment Maggie spotted her amidst the rubble but- for all that Alex is impossibly strong, for all that she's one of the bravest people Maggie has ever met- Maggie knows her heart is shattering. And right now it's held together with just a few gossamer strands of glue.

 

Alex is pliable as they pass through the empty locker room, mirrors and faucets gleaming dully in the low light. 

 

With gentle hands, Maggie pulls them into the showers. She kicks her boots off outside one of the stalls, releasing Alex's hand to undo her Kevlar vest. 

 

_Scccrrritch._

 

Each separation of the Velcro is a harsh rasp that echoes in the quiet.

 

_Scccrrritch._

 

Maggie winces, the sound too loud, too abrasive.

 

She hangs the vest on the row of hooks along the wall, then tucks her phone and keys into one of the many pockets on the front.

 

With socked feet she pads over to Alex, who hasn't moved except to lean lightly on the tiled wall. Maggie stops in front of Alex, a hand on her arm. When Alex doesn't flinch at the contact, Maggie raises her other hand to Alex's cheek, tears and dirt and blood smeared there. She smooths a thumb over her skin, and Alex finally meets her gaze. 

 

Maggie doesn't think she's ever seen such sorrow in those brown eyes. 

 

Alex looks away again and Maggie continues to work, sliding her hands under the shoulders of Alex's jacket and easing it down her arms and off. She hangs it next to her vest. Next she kneels down, running her hands lightly along Alex's calf, asking Alex to raise her foot with the touch. The zipper at the back of Alex's boots undoes easily, and Maggie keeps one stabilizing hand wrapped around Alex's leg, the other tugging the boot free. They repeat the process and Maggie sets them next to her own.

 

When she returns, she guides Alex further into the shower, stepping forward to turn on the spray, one hand still on Alex's arm. Once the water is an acceptable heat, she takes Alex's hands and pulls them both under the stream. 

 

The soft shushhhh as the droplets strike them is soothing, though the sensation is different through the fabric of her shirt. Her clothes and hair get heavier as the water soaks in, fingers of warmth seeping along her skin. Maggie reaches for the soap dispenser along the wall, clicking it once, twice, until she holds a large dollop of foam in her palm. With her other hand she gently turns one of Alex’s over and begins to massage the soap into her palm, along her fingers, deep into the creases, the reddish-brown stains washing away and down the drain. 

 

Maggie’s hands are steady as they work, thumbs pressing in circles, cleansing and comforting. Any other day- a normal day- they’d be doing this for altogether different reasons. But now, the intimacy of the moment is found only in Maggie’s gentle and attentive fingers, in the concern stretching her lips tight, the crease of love and worry along her forehead, and the way Alex’s head drops to rest against Maggie’s, her eyes pressed closed.

 

Maggie finishes Alex’s hands and Alex leans to the side, against the wall, as Maggie works quickly to clean her own, seeming content to wait under the stream of water until Maggie’s touch finds her again. When it does, it’s Maggie’s fingers soft under her chin. She tilts Alex’s head up from where it was tucked against her chest, bringing both hands up to cup Alex’s face briefly. Alex closes her eyes again and Maggie uses her thumbs to gently smooth away the streaks of dirt and dust. 

 

Alex’s hands come up to grasp Maggie’s forearms and Maggie stills.When Kara had flatlined in the operating room for the second time, Alex was frantic, had yelled at the doctors- _DO something!_ \- and Maggie had pulled her bodily from the room. Out in the hall, Alex had shirked away from her hold, a hand out as she paced away, clearly stating _“don’t touch me”_ with the gesture. It had hurt, certainly, but Maggie understood- knows better than most that grief shows itself differently in every person, that trauma can warp a person’s reality to the point where they’ll snap at even their closest loved ones. 

 

But when Alex opens her eyes, there’s no panic, no anger, no frustration- and Maggie sees the moment Alex’s eyes clear, emerging from the shock, fully aware of what’s happening. She breathes in, deep and ragged, a hand coming up to cover her mouth, the numbness receding and reality sinking in.

 

Maggie quickly presses her hands against the side of Alex’s face, smoothing wet strands of hair back. “It’s going to be okay.” She doesn’t know this- not for sure- but she wills herself to believe it, for Alex’s sake, wills that belief to take residence in her eyes, in the steadiness of her voice, the strength of her grip. “It’s gonna be okay.”

 

But they’re both pragmatic, realists- Kara, after all, has always been the optimistic one- and so when Maggie pulls Alex tight against her, she feels the moment Alex breaks, sobs shaking her frame. When Alex’s knees give out, Maggie eases them down onto the tiles. And as they cling to one another, fingers tight with fear and exhaustion and sorrow, she lets herself break too, her own tears mixing with the water flowing from above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I swear to you this will get better. Darkest before the dawn though, right? We’ll get back to Lena next, probably next week.


	5. Belly of the Beast

 

The five stages of grief, she’s been told by her therapist, are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. “Stages” is a bit of a misnomer: it’s common to experience the stages out of order, and not all people experience each stage. Everyone mourns differently, she’s told.

 

 

Lena starts with anger. 

 

 

She stabs Hank Henshaw in the eye with a screwdriver.

 

 

Well, she _attempts_ a stabbing. He catches her movement at the last second and it ends up being more of a glancing blow. 

 

Now she’s been relieved of her “weapon” (it’s laughably tiny- she’d been using it to tweak her latest adjustments to a portable holo-projector for smart phones) and zip ties pinch the skin along her wrists, seat harness firmly in place across her shoulders.

 

Still, there’s a new jagged gash across Henshaw’s metal-plated skull and she finds satisfaction with each glare he throws her way as he dabs at the fluid oozing from it. Her mother watched their scuffle disinterestedly from the front of the helicopter, a sigh of exasperation her only comment.

 

With nothing to _do_ with her anger, she thinks. 

 

///

 

Denial comes next.

 

 

Kara’s not Supergirl.

 

And Supergirl isn’t dead. 

 

 

First, what are the odds that kind, clumsy, adorable Kara Danvers and the bold and powerful Girl of Steel are one and the same? The odds that Kara is managing to pull off such a critical deception and doing it with only glasses, a ponytail, and some cardigans? Astronomical. On top of that, what are the odds that Lena _Luthor_ would be best friends with a _Super’s_ alter-ego, after what happened with Lex? Ridiculous. 

 

As to the similarities between the two, well, it’s not the first time she’s noticed, but adrenaline and fear are powerful psychotropics. Surely she misinterpreted that look from Supergirl, her brain making connections where there are none, casting desperately for some semblance of control in an out-of-control situation.

 

She knows Kara. Kara is kind and trusting and beautiful and believes in her. Kara wouldn’t- _couldn’t_ \- lie about something like this.

 

Some of the icy panic gripping her heart subsides. 

 

Kara’s not Supergirl, which means Kara is fine. Though they were supposed to meet for lunch later today and she’ll be worried- she’s probably heard the news. Lena can see her now, crinkle firmly in place. Another bit of her heart thaws.

 

And Supergirl- well, she’s _Supergirl_ after all. It’s going to take more than a few bullets and a fall to kill the caped heroine. 

 

Lena stares out the window, the arid landscape a blur of tan, gold, and olive. 

 

(This is perhaps the biggest deception- convincing herself that it wasn’t that bad. That she didn’t just watch bullets tear into- and _through_ \- Supergirl’s body, blood seeping from wounds, pain etched into her features. That as she was shoved toward the chopper she didn’t feel the building shake beneath her feet at what she can only assume was Supergirl’s impact with the ground. That the glee in her mother’s eyes, mouth twisted in a smile, didn’t cause her heart to drop further. That she didn’t press her face to the glass, searching for any sign of red and blue through the plumes of grey dust.

 

That she’s not worried out of her mind for the hero who has become her friend.)

 

But these are lies that match the others she’s been harboring, carefully tended deep within.

 

Lies about the place Kara has come to fill in her heart. 

Lies about the attraction that strikes each time she lands eyes on that red cape. 

Lies about the connections she’s been making, subconsciously, ever since the day Kara Danvers walked into her office with Clark Kent all those months ago.

Lies that are supposed to protect her, keep her heart safe, tucked away behind the walls she’s been building since the first night she cried herself to sleep within the lonely depths of the Luthor mansion.

 

But Kara can’t be Supergirl. 

 

And Supergirl will be okay.

 

Because even if Supergirl were injured (she refuses to entertain the idea she’s dead), she’s got super-alien-friends and whatever covert government agency she’s working for to help. They’ll save her, surely. 

 

And Supergirl risks her life every day. Lena’s heart might clench each time she sees the hero thrown about by some hulking menace, but it’s somewhat expected- the danger and the heroics.

 

Blue eyes flash in Lena’s memory, the scent of wind and rain and vanilla, the feeling of strong arms and the weightlessness of flight.

 

_I will always protect you. I promise._

 

Supergirl _can’t_ be Kara.

 

Because Supergirl was shot, and if Kara is Supergirl… then _Kara_ was shot- and might be _dying_ and Lena’s hands are _literally_ tied and-

 

Oh God, Supergirl was shot _._ _Kara_ -

 

The cold burrows its way deep inside her chest, icy tendrils latching on.

 

Lena spends the next ten minutes with her eyes closed, breathing evenly through her nose, desperately fighting off the panic that threatens to drown her.

 

///

 

Eventually, the hum and vibration of the rotors seeps through her body, the sound of a powerful machine functioning as it should steadying her. 

 

She’s just gotten her breathing back to normal when they land, rough hands forcing her from the helicopter and out on to the bland roof of an abandoned building. Lena catches glimpses of industrial-looking buildings and desert landscape before she’s shoved unceremoniously forward.They descend, winding through nondescript halls, past labs and offices, until they reach what she can only assume is to be her jail cell for the foreseeable future: a small room with no windows and a small bed in one corner, bolted to the floor.

 

Her foot catches at the entry and her knees clap painfully against the cement floor, palms aching as she catches herself, the man who had been her “guide” doing nothing to stop her fall.

Lena doesn't give them the satisfaction of seeing her wince, pulling herself up with as much grace as she can manage with her tied wrists.

 

Someone makes a scolding _tsk_ behind her, and her mother appears in her line of sight, hand extended.

 

Lena glares icily, pushing herself to her feet with the help of the wall.

 

Lillian pulls her hand back, looking unsurprised. “I do apologize. Some of my associates are a bit… rough around the edges.” This is followed by a meaningful look at the man who allowed her to fall. “There will be repercussions, I assure you.”

 

She turns back to Lena, “Are you hurt?” 

 

Lena’s sure her tone is meant to be soothing, but she knows that any time spent in her mother’s presence will be a game of calculated moves- one which she will need to play. But there is an ache, a throbbing beneath her sternum that is rage and sorrow and will not be ignored.

 

She’s found the anger again.

 

“Are you really going to stand there and pretend like you didn’t just _shoot_ someone- that you didn’t just try to kill Supergirl right in front of me?”

 

There’s a brief glint of something at the word “try,” gone in the next breath, Lillian looking for all the world like a caring mother who is explaining something to a willful child for the umpteenth time. Pity lines her face. “Supergirl is not the hero you think she is. If you knew the truth-“

 

Lillian breaks off, shaking her head, and her pain looks genuine. “Lena, I will explain everything, I promise. I apologize for the abrupt extraction but I mean you no harm, and I assure you, you were only brought here out of necessity.” 

 

She gestures to the guard and he cuts Lena’s cuffs, then retreats to the hall.

 

“It’s clear you’re upset, and I have some things I have to attend to. I apologize for the sparse accommodations but I need you to stay here for the time being. I will explain everything soon enough.” 

 

The door creaks shut behind her and Lena stares at it, rubbing the circulation back into her wrists. She begins to pace, the crisp echo of her steps tapping in time to the pulsing in her head.

 

_Kara, Kara, Kara._

 

Fury and terror vie for her attention but she pushes them down. The coming hours are sure to be a match of wits and deception, and she cannot allow her emotions to tip her hand. She doesn’t know much, and she’ll need to use every bit of cunning she possesses to gather information without revealing anything in return.

 

Two things Lena is certain of:

 

Her mother needs her cooperation for something, and will do whatever it takes to get it.

 

Her mother has figured out Supergirl’s identity and will try to use that against her. 

 

Lena paces, and as she paces, she plans.

 

///

 

A knock thuds dully on the heavy door not much later.

 

Lena keeps her expression neutral as Lillian enters.

 

She pauses a moment and then sits, folding her legs, the picture of Luthor grace, even perched on the edge of a glorified cot. 

 

Lena wants to snort at the ridiculousness of the visual but doesn’t.

 

She leans against the opposite wall, arms crossed, eyebrows raised in invitation.

 

Lillian clears her throat. “I need your help.” She pauses. Lena doesn’t take the bait. “I know you don’t share in Cadmus’s vision, but after the Daxamite attack on National City, after what they nearly forced of you- I would assume we can agree that aliens- some, at least- pose a very real threat to our world.” 

 

Lena is careful not to react to the mention of the Daxamites. She won’t allow the guilt and shame she carries over the invasion become another weapon in her mother’s arsenal. She simply inclines her head, once.

 

Lillian uncrosses her legs, leaning forward. “We’ve been tracking a building movement of radical aliens- a terrorist group of sorts, amassing on the west coast. They saw how close the Daxamites came to ruling the city and are apparently tired of being relegated to the outskirts of society. They’re calling themselves Chimera.”

 

She spreads her hands, elbows resting on her knees. “I know you think I’m… extreme. But I have proof of this group’s existence, and their plans to wipe out humanity and install their own alien-led regime. They are a credible threat.” She clasps her hands, looking at Lena imploringly. “And I need your help to stop them.”

 

Lena looks away as she considers her mother’s words. One way or another, her mother is lying, that much is certain. But she’s also skilled in half-truths and so deciphering her true motives will be like trying to pull apart a tangled knot of thread: a job that requires patience, time, and deft handling. 

 

Lena rolls her head back to face Lillian from where it rests against the wall. “And what is it that you need me for?”

 

Lillian sits upright again, the formal pose returning and clearly more comfortable for the Luthor matron. She looks pleased with Lena’s question. 

 

Lena wonders what tactic Lillian will employ to finish her sell. 

 

“Besides what you might offer with your proficiencies in engineering and mechanics, you and you alone can provide us with the tool that will save humanity.” She raises her chin proudly. “Just like you did with the Daxamites.”

 

Flattery, it would seem, is the name of the game. Lena tries to ignore the warmth that spreads through her at the praise. _Stupid, traitorous heart._

 

Lillian frowns a little, clearly expecting a bigger response, but quickly smoothes her expression once more. “That’s all I can tell you for now. Tomorrow I can show you the evidence we’ve gathered, and the crucial part you play in our plan to stop them.” She stands. “If you decide not to help us, I’ll have one of my men return you to the city in the morning.” She gestures to the room at large before clasping her hands again. “I hope you’ll understand that until you’ve made your decision I can’t let you go wandering the facility. I’ll bring you something to eat in a few hours and we can talk a bit more then.”

 

Ah, a bit of bait dangling as well. 

 

Lillian takes a step toward Lena. “You don’t have to agree with me, but you _should_ consider working together on this. Many lives hang in the balance.”

 

Like Rhea, Lillian knows Lena’s weakness: that despite the cold and ruthless Luthor reputation, she does, in fact, care a great deal about the people of National City, that she will do whatever it takes to protect innocent lives, that she’s spent the last few years trying to do just that with L-Corp’s resources and influence. 

 

Lena wonders if she would’ve recognized that manipulation for what it is had Rhea not just pulled the same trick- capitalizing on Lena’s desire to change the world for good. 

 

Lillian heads for the hall but pauses at the doorway. “In Greek mythology, the Chimera is depicted as an inhuman monster, made from the parts of many different beasts. To see a Chimera was an omen of impending disaster.” She waits until Lena meets her gaze. “Please think about what I’ve said.”

 

“Wait!” Lena calls out just before the door is about to close. Lillian stands in the gap. “Yes?”

 

“You just- Supergirl. How am I supposed to trust you after what you did?” Lena allows some of her frustration to slip out. “You said she’s not the hero I think she is. You said you would explain.” 

 

Lillian looks conflicted. She steps back inside, closing the door gently.

 

When she turns back to Lena, she seems to have come to a decision. “Supergirl has been lying to you, since the moment you met.” 

 

Lena frowns, saying nothing.

 

Lillian sighs, as if what she’s about to say pains her. “You deserve to know the truth.” She looks away briefly. “I suppose it’s best to just come out with it.” 

 

Lena crosses her arms, not caring that it looks defensive.

 

“Kara Danvers is Supergirl.”

 

The breath leaves Lena’s body. Even knowing what her mother was about to say, the words strike a blow, confirmation of what she’d realized just hours ago.

 

She lets her mouth hang open for a moment before snapping it shut, jaw clenched. She stares,feeling the moisture gathering behind her eyes. She doesn’t fight it. 

 

Lena swallows hard, shaking her head. “That’s impossible. You’re- I’m sure you’re mistaken.”

 

Lillian steps toward her and Lena retreats, still shaking her head, a hand held up between them. “No.”

 

“Lena-“

 

Lena turns away, taking a moment as if she were processing this information, putting the pieces together. She gathers herself to sell the last bit of the reaction. When she turns back around slowly, betrayal and anguish are clearly written on her features. “Why- why would tell me that?”

 

The question comes out as a hoarse whisper.

 

This time, she thinks, Lillian is actually genuine. “Because you deserve the truth. And because you need to know who we’re dealing with. They are not human, Lena. They only play the part long enough to get what they want from us. But we are nothing to them- just a means to an end.”

 

Lena’s fingers dig into her arms. It’s risky, but she has to know.

 

“Is she-“ her voice wavers. She swallows and looks away. “Is Supergirl dead?”

 

Lena forces her body to stay still, stiff with anger and shock. She knows Lillian is reading her every move.

 

Lillian is slow to answer. “What if she was?”

 

Lena looks at her mother, letting the swell of emotions she’s felt all day play across her face: confusion, fear, hurt, betrayal, sorrow, and anger mixing in a storm that darkens her countenance. “…I honestly don’t know.”

 

It’s truthful: she wouldn’t know what to think, what to feel- just probably not for the reasons Lillian is imagining. Her mother’s expression shifts and Lena can tell that bit of honesty is what finally sells it all. 

 

“I’m sorry, my dear.” Lillian looks at her a moment longer before exiting. 

 

The door closes with a _snickt._

 

Lena slides down the wall.

 

///

 

The bargaining begins as she sits with her back pressed against the cool cement, eyes pressed tight. Over the thudding of her heart, her mind begins to examine the last several hours, turning each moment over like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. 

 

She can’t help but wonder, if she had known, if she had just realized- put the pieces together sooner… she might’ve been able to _do_ something, to warn Kara or protect her, prevent all this-

 

But she hadn’t. And Kara hadn’t trusted her. 

 

...and now it might be too late. 

 

Lena wrangles that train of thought back in line. Lillian hasn’t confirmed anything- not really. 

 

She considers what might’ve happened after they flew away. _Alex._ Alex will have come for Kara.

 

Lena speculates that Alex must work for the same secret government agency that employs Supergirl (she’s quite certain FBI agents don’t receive Navy SEAL-level training) and if she knows one thing about the older Danvers, it’s that she’ll move heaven and earth (and then some) for her sister. 

(It’s the same kind of awe-inspiring devotion Lex had once shown her. She’d been convinced there was nothing in the world that could shake their bond- and it had, in fact, taken some _one_ from another world to do so.)

So since her mother hasn’t gloated about Supergirl’s demise, the most likely scenario is that Kara is injured but alive- hopefully having been swooped up by Alex and the non-FBI and taken somewhere safe. 

 

 

Kara’s alive. She has to be.

 

 

Because Lena is going to play Lillian’s game, and she’s going to win. And if- _when_ she gets out of here, she and Kara are going to have the conversation they’ve been dancing around for weeks. That one and several others.

 

Something steely and molten anchors itself deep within, and she promises to whatever God might be listening that if Kara’s alive, if she gets to see her again, then she will do _whatever_ it takes to stop Cadmus once and for all. She will bide her time and learn her mother’s plan and when the time comes she will tear this place down with her own two hands if she has to.

 

 

///

 

 

After a short and mostly silent dinner with her mother, Lena lays down on the bed, the wall cold and firm at her back.

 

She’s never been comfortable with tears- not since the words “undignified” and “weak” became synonymous with any outward show of emotion, especially tears. It’s taken years of therapy to be comfortable showing anything other than calculated masks, strategic smiles- always aware of who might be watching, judging. 

 

But now she lets the saltwater slip from her eye, pooling along the bridge of her nose before slipping over the edge to drip softly onto the mattress. She knows the room is most likely bugged, but if her mother is watching, the display of emotion won’t be unexpected. After all, she already believes Lena to be weak. Take the trauma of the day’s events, add the proverbial bomb of Supergirl’s identity and the corresponding betrayal of Lena’s trust and- well, it’s a lot, even for a Luthor. And it’s true- all of it. Lillian’s just a few hours off on the timing of the big reveal. 

 

So Lena grieves, and she lets her mother see it. Shades of the truth make the best deception.

 

One thing about growing up a Luthor- you become an excellent actor, or you don’t survive.

 

It’s a good thing, too. 

 

She’ll have to put on an Oscar-worthy performance to pull this off.

 

///

 

Lena sleeps, and as she sleeps, she remembers.

 

 

_A Few Days Earlier…_

  


Lena smiles to herself as she dries her hands and leans back against Kara’s counter, watching the competitive chaos unfolding in the living room. 

  


They’re ten- twelve?- rounds into charades and the teams have evolved nearly as many times. Winn is doing his best “YOU SHALL NOT PASS” impression of Gandalf, alternating between repeatedly striking the ground with his invisible staff and making a desperate “wizard hat” gesture that is starting to look more like a shark fin the longer Maggie looks at him bewilderedly. James has his phone out and looks to be discreetly taping the entire thing, eyes wide with amusement.

 

Kara looks up from where she has her face buried in Alex’s shoulder to (ineffectively) hide her cackling. Her face is split into a wide grin that softens and deepens when she meets Lena’s eyes and sees Lena grinning as well. She gives her signature head tilt.

  


_You doing okay?_

  


It’s been months since Lena first came to game night, long enough for the awkwardness to dissipate, long enough for Lena to actually feel like she’s been accepted by this unexpected, remarkable group. To have a tentative hold on the sense that, maybe, she belongs here. 

  


Lena nods back.

 

_More than okay._

 

 

If you had asked her, a year ago, what her weeks look like, she would’ve said something about staying late at work, the occasional traveling for business meetings, maybe a macabre joke about Lex’s quarterly attempts on her life. L-Corp was still shaking off the reputation of its old branding and leadership and she was working night and day to prove that it- and she- could be a force for good. 

 

She never would have guessed that the budding friendship with a certain reporter would come to change her life so dramatically. 

 

She couldn’t have imagined bi-weekly game nights, hosted more and more frequently at the spacious and lonely apartment she rarely spent time in herself.Or how she would come to arrange her schedule to allow for as many shared lunches as possible. That some of those lunches she’d be joined by Winn, his delight in discussing technology contagious and disarming, his nerdy-ness drawing out her own. She certainly wouldn’t have guessed that some of those lunches would be spent with Alex, talking engineering or security. Or that they might eventually move past those topics to the everyday things one shares with a friend. She’d be surprised to learn that when Kara is short on time and they lunch at Catco, James sometimes joins them on the deck. And that he is warm, and thoughtful, and good at teasing smiles from both Kara and Lena. She wouldn’t have believed that when those frequent attempts on her life continue, she’d have not only a caped heroine there to protect her, but a tenacious NCPD detective on scene almost every time who would greet Lena with genuine concern or a dimpled smile, her presence steadying and reassuring even as she does her job.

 

She never would’ve guessed that meeting Kara would mean gaining a family. 

 

Although, based on her own initial reaction to the blonde- that instinctive pull, the subconscious trust and endearment- she maybe should’ve guessed that she’d be where she is now.

 

Which is making heart eyes across the room at her best friend. 

 

Lena drops her gaze when she realizes what she's doing but can’t stop the smile, busying her fingers with adjusting her watch band. When she looks back up Kara is still grinning at her. She rises, glass in hand, and makes her way over to the kitchen, pausing to pat Winn’s shoulder sympathetically as the timer runs out and he throws his hands up in defeat. 

 

Kara is mid-laugh, just turning toward Lena when the glass shatters.

 

They both stare at it, tiny shards catching the light as they fall in slow motion to the floor, a shower of diamonds.

 

Kara looks up at Lena and mouths “I’m sorry” as she pulls a hand away from her stomach, red. The second bullet strikes her in the chest with a horrifying, wet, _thuk,_ knocking her backwards a step.

 

Lena reaches out but she’s too far.

 

She sees Kara’s blue eyes fade to grey.

 

Supergirl falls.

 

 

 

Lena wakes with a flinch, memory morphing into nightmare and back into cruel memory. 

 

The pillow is damp beneath her cheek. This time, the tears are all too real.

 

She draws a deep breath, willing her chest to expand, the oxygen to chase away some of the tension and terror. She exhales and the sheet makes a soft _shush_ as she clenches it within her fingers.

 

Tomorrow she will be strong. She will fight as best she can, the only way she knows how.

 

Tonight, she curls into herself, and in the darkness allows the despair to take her.

 

///

 

 

Lena bides her time.

 

As the hours pass- a day or two by her calculation- something like acceptance fills the aching holes in her chest.

 

 

 

She may be stuck here, but that doesn’t mean she can’t help Kara.

 

She examines the evidence presented, tucking away as much information as she can to check independently. She takes in the labs, the experiments, the weapons Cadmus has amassed in this facility- most of it revealed only in glimpses as she’s escorted down winding hallways.She’s allowed to work on some of the tech, to improve on their designs, always with the promise of more involvement, more information- but only when her trust is proven.

 

So she plays the game. 

 

Lena uses her genuine worry for Kara, her frustration at being trapped here (despite her mother’s assurances, she’s under no illusions: she is a prisoner), her disgust with Cadmus’s actions- allowing all of it to show. 

 

And if her mother sees the sadness and frustration and anger and believes it to be Lena working through Kara’s “betrayal”- well, who would blame her? Lillian believes she’s dealt the fatal blow to Lena’s relationship with Kara. She can’t see past her prejudice and righteous anger to imagine a world where Lena might be able to forgive that deception.

 

And that’s her mother’s fatal flaw, Lena reflects as she tinkers with yet another weapon made from alien tech, parts and pieces strewn about the work table in front of her. Lillian truly believes she’s right, her actions justified. And as such she’s certain, if given enough time, Lena will eventually come to her side.

 

It’s an odd reversal of their positions. As a child, Lena was sure if she could just be smart enough, perfect enough, that Lillian would give her the approval and love she so craved. 

 

But she sees now that neither of them will ever get what they desire. 

 

Because Lena is never going to approve of this- of these _atrocities_ committed by her mother. 

 

And despite the longing that still aches in her traitorous heart, Lena knows her mother is incapable of loving her in anything other than the twisted ways she always has.

 

Even now, with Lena cooperating, aiding Cadmus, Lillian is distant, calculating, any attempts at warmth or affection clearly just another move on the board. 

 

But two can play at that game.

 

Lena’s own charade is made all the more real by the churning of conflicting feelings within- underneath everything there _is_ a sting of betrayal, of hurt. 

 

It’s not like she hadn’t considered the possibility, Kara being Supergirl. The poor excuses for being late or canceling, her abnormal appetite, the “flew here on a bus” of it all… but she hadn’t allowed herself to come to the inevitable conclusion- not until she’d been forced to her knees on that rooftop. Not until the horror of the moment had bypassed all her carefully crafted excuses and walls (fragile attempts to shield her heart from it’s growing love for her best friend and her crush on National City’s own hero). And in that moment the veil had lifted and it was clearly Kara standing there, _bleeding_ and-

 

Lena leans her head back for a moment.

 

Dwelling on what happened won’t save her and it certainly won’t help Kara any.

 

She’s already reliving those moments in the night- pulled from sleep by the cold grasping fingers of her dreams. She doesn’t need to revisit them by the light of day.

 

There’s a knock on the door. Mealtime, then.

 

Lena pushes back from the work table. Time to see which unwitting Cadmus goon she can extract information from this time.

 

Her heart thuds steadily as she walks down the hall and beneath it all the refrain continues:

 

_Kara, Kara, Kara._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whew* This one was tough, guys. Sorry for the later update than I estimated. On a side note, I've got a full outline and the next chap is nearly done! 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and please let me know what you think- I love hearing from you all.


	6. Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who might be interested, soundtrack notes for this chapter:
> 
> “On Thin Ice,” by Hans Zimmer (minus the last 30 seconds or so) through the first two sections  
> “Heroes,” by Zayde Wolf for Lena’s section  
> “Constantine,” by Thomas Newman or “Runaway,” by Talos back at the DEO.
> 
>  
> 
> Would you guys rather get longer updates less frequently, or shorter chapters more often?

Winn slams his hands on either side of his keyboard. James startles awake, his head rising from where it’d been resting atop his arms at one of the other desks. He comes to pretty quickly, eyeing Winn, whose chair is pushed back, head in his hands. “You okay, man? Any progress?”

 

Winn sighs, dragging his hands down his face as he sits upright. “Just another dead end.” he sighs, tension visibly draining from his body. “Sorry- you can go back to sleep.”

 

James checks the time. 3:06 A.M. “You sure? I can go grab us some coffee-“ 

 

He knows better to suggest that Winn himself sleep- it’s been a little over forty-eight hours since their worlds imploded and Winn’s _maybe_ gotten three hours. Maybe. But he’s been relentless in his search for any sign of Lena or Cadmus, and James isn’t going to ask him to stop. If he had Winn’s skill set, he’d be using every moment to look for them too. As it is, they’ve got everyone at the DEO and Maggie’s considerable connections at the NCPD digging through every scrap of information, every lead. 

 

Winn shakes his head. “Sleep. You’ve got to wrangle the troops at Catco in a few hours.”

 

No one has any footage of what happened that day at L-Corp, but between the abduction of Lena Luthor and eye witness reports of Supergirl falling from the roof, it’s been all hands on deck and the media frenzy doesn’t look to be slowing anytime soon. 

 

James rubs his forehead at the reminder. He’s more than ready for Cat to return from her latest “spiritual sojourn.” 

 

“Okay- but wake me if you need, alright?”

 

Winn nods, already back at his keyboard, his attention on the screen.

 

James studies the feed Winn has pulled up on one of his secondary monitors: live footage from the infirmary. A part of him notes that it’s potentially invasive, the feed. But again, James can’t fault him for wanting to keep an eye on Kara, especially as he’s giving his all to find their friend and the people who did this. 

 

It looks like nothing has changed since James last stopped in to check. Maggie’s boots are visible, the rest of her presumably sprawled in a chair off-screen, asleep. Alex is perched beside the bed, tablet in hand. And Kara is still, so very still, surrounded by the warm glow of sunlamps and the machines helping to keep her alive.

 

Winn catches him staring and starts to say something but just swallows instead, the words caught in his throat. He turns back to his computer.

 

James rises. “I’m going to go get that coffee after all.” Exhaustion had pulled him to slumber earlier, but he doesn’t think he’ll be going back to sleep now. “Want one?”

 

Winn nods and James sets a hand on his shoulder. “Be right back.”

 

He spares one more look at the monitor before leaving to find something to help get them through the rest of the night.

 

 

///

 

 

The chart displayed on her tablet goes fuzzy again and Alex rubs her fingers along the corners of her eyes, blinking to clear the grit and blur. She sets the tablet on the empty bed next to Kara’s, leaning back in her chair, studying Kara’s form. 

 

It doesn’t make sense. She should be healing. 

 

They’ve compared Kara’s tests now with those from her solar flares, and the data suggests this isn’t that. Eliza spent most of the day studying the results and came to the same conclusion Alex has: Kara’s cells are still processing the solar energy but without the normal effects- no powers, no healing. And no idea why.

 

Alex stands stiffly, rolling her neck, a hand coming up to massage a particularly tight spot.

 

Her gaze lands on Maggie, asleep in the corner, her leather jacket bunched up beneath her head on the back of the chair. 

 

Something warm soothes a bit of the ache in her chest.

 

She tried to send Maggie home for a couple of hours, just to sleep- her fiancé has been pulling double duty: coordinating with her partner at NCPD, working on the investigation and keeping vigil with Alex at the DEO. J’onn even weighed in and Alex thought they’d managed it- but Maggie had simply shown up a half hour later, setting a duffle with clothes and toiletries for the both of them on the counter before resuming her post at the other side of Kara’s bed.

 

 

Not for the first time, Alex wonders how she ever got so lucky.

 

 

She paces some but eventually sinks back into her chair. Abandoning the tablet and its lack of answers for the moment, she begrudgingly admits to herself she’s so fried the chances of making any headway are slim. 

 

Her gaze returns to Kara, as it has constantly since she came out of surgery, as if Alex’s attentiveness is tied inextricably with the beat of Kara’s heart, the one ensuring the other.

 

The soft glow of the sunlamps reflects off a surface to the side. Kara’s glasses- an extra pair? Alex picks them up gingerly, wondering who brought them in and how she missed it.

 

It actually isn’t much of a mystery- she knows she spent several hours in a state of shock, held together only by a combination of her singular focus on Kara, Maggie’s constant presence, and J’onn’s deep voice.

 

Alex turns Kara’s glasses over in her hands, mind wandering.

 

 

Into the precarious silence, she speaks.

 

 

“Remember that time you caught me out in the treehouse crying?” The soft shush of the ventilator answers.

 

“I told you it was because I got beat out for valedictorian by stupid Carl Sorenson.” 

 

She huffs a soft laugh. 

 

“I was pissed about that, for sure, but-“ She looks at Kara, all bandages and wires and pale, too-human skin. “We’re a long ways away from worrying about things like that.”

 

She’s quiet, solemnness settling over her like a heavy blanket. “I lied.” 

 

“We were prepping for the grad party, Mom and I. She pulled out the bins of old photos, and we ended up going through them for hours.” 

 

They hadn’t even made it through the first bin before the stories began, prompted by the memories ensnared in each snapshot. A younger Eliza, windswept hair and unhindered smile, caught up in Jeremiah’s arms, the ocean at their backs. Toddler Alex, hands on hips and frown firmly in place, the severity of her expression offset by the two pairs of space-themed underwear: one where it belongs and one worn toga-like atop her head. 

 

Alex remembers being so grateful for that time with her mother, for a trip down memory lane that wasn’t laced with sorrow. 

 

Until she wasn’t.

 

“I came across one of Nan.” 

 

A small smile. 

 

“I’m sad you never got to meet her- you would’ve loved her. And she would’ve adored you, I know it.” 

 

Alex runs her thumb along the frames in her hand. “Did you know she used to wear glasses a lot like yours?” 

 

She pauses, remembering.

 

“I saw this picture of Nan- it was taken only a year before she died. She’d been traveling- taking the trips she never took when she was younger, apparently. And she looked- man, she looked happy. Grey hair and the biggest grin and the Cliffs of Moher behind her. And I know she wasn’t technically your grandmother but I swear you guys have the same smile.”

 

Alex smiles even as her eyes grow damp. “And I was saying to mom how cute I thought you’d look as an old lady- that I pictured us out on a front porch together, heckling the neighbor kids. And we’d have like, ten cats.” Alex laughs wetly, picturing it again. 

 

She stares at the glasses. “That was the day mom told me how Kryptonian biology affects aging on earth.” 

 

Eliza, always one to be upfront, had gently corrected her. Had explained that Kara would age slowly, that the sun in her Kryptonian cells would keep her alive much longer than the average human.

 

That Alex would grow old without her. 

 

That she wouldn’t live to see Kara with grey hair and creases around her eyes.

 

And Alex, even at that age, had put together what went unsaid.

 

 

That Kara would likely outlive all of them. 

Would live through the deaths of her friends and family. 

Would be the last. Again.

 

 

“So I know- I’ve known, since that day, that you’re probably going to outlive me. That even if I get to be a sassy old cat lady, chances are I’d…” 

 

Alex looks to the side.

 

“I always mean it, you know, when I promise that I’ll be there, that I’m not going anywhere- I do. But…“ 

 

But there’re some things you can’t control, now matter how smart or determined you are. 

 

But it’s not a promise she can keep, not for sure. And so every time she says “always” something twists in her gut, because she doesn’t truly know how long their always will be.

 

 

A small sigh. “And now we’ve got these insane jobs, both of us.” 

 

Kara put on her family crest, became a hero for the city, the world. And Alex is so fucking proud- she is- even though it kills her every time her sister throws herself in front of danger.

 

“I love that I get to do this, and that you get to be the hero I always knew you were.”

 

She thinks through the close calls they’ve had, both of them.

 

“But I promised myself a long time ago that I would keep you safe. That I would _protect_ you, no matter what. ”

 

She’s always known there was a real possibility- that her purpose as a protector could get her killed. But she’d made her peace with it a long time ago, considers it an honor to get to fight for the person- the people- she loves most in this world.

 

She tips her head back to the ceiling, rasping out a whisper. “So I always thought it would be me.”

 

“Even with the aliens and Cadmus and these insane threats you face- I promised to protect you, and I would.” She swallows hard, nodding. “I would- not just for Supergirl, but for you, Kara. Would gladly give my life for yours. Every time.” 

 

She picks up Kara’s hand, the coolness of her skin a shocking contrast to its normal over-warmth. Alex’s eyes trace her sister’s form, cataloguing each injury, every bandage- as she has a hundred times in the last few days. Each wound is a bruise on Alex’s heart.

 

“So I thought it would be me. But I wasn’t- I wasn’t _there_ , and I think I forgot-“ A ghost of sticky warmth- of deep, devastating, red- plays across her hands. 

 

“Ever since that day, I’ve been trying to protect you from the likelihood that I’d be the one to leave _you_ , and-“

 

 

_I forgot that you might be the one to leave._

 

 

Instead she says, “I don’t know if you can hear me Kara, but…” 

 

“I know, after all you’ve endured, you of all people have the right to rest, to find peace. And,“ Her voice breaks. “I know you might just want to join your family in Rao’s light, I- that’s okay. It’s okay if that’s what you want.”

 

Alex shakes her head even as she says the words, a whispered confession to the stillness. “But I don’t know if I can do this without you. I don’t _want_ to do this without you.” 

 

She wills Kara to hear her, wherever she is. “So please- please fight. Come back to us.” 

 

Alex brushes a kiss across Kara’s bruised knuckles, barely grazing the mottled skin, and lays her head down beside their hands. She allows her eyes to close, body and mind spent.

 

_Don’t leave._

 

 

_///_

 

 

Winn reaches blindly for his cup, almost knocking it over- _oops_ \- and when he gives it a little shake, the barely-there sound of liquid splashing the sides confirms he’s out. Frack.

 

He stares at the cup forlornly. One of these days he’ll convince J’onn of the essential, life-giving, mission-aiding benefits of having a coffee machine in the command center. 

 

But today is not that day.

 

Draining the last few swigs in one gulp, he’s about to push back from his station when a new window opens unprompted in the middle of his screen. Winn frowns. That’s… weird.

 

A white cursor blinks at him from a plain black background, then letters form rapidly.

 

_“Is this H4NS0LQ?”_

 

His frown deepens. He hasn’t used that call sign since joining the DEO. 

 

Sitting up higher, he does a quick sweep of the other techs working- no one seems to be paying attention. It should be- it _is_ impossible for someone to contact him from outside the DEO without his initiation… just in case, he starts running a trace in the background, fortifying their firewalls, checking for any abnormal incoming or outgoing data. 

 

He tilts his head and types back. _“Who’s asking?”_

 

A pause, the cursor flashing. _“Call me Je.T.S.”_

 

Winn’s brain short-circuits. Je.T.S. is notorious in the hacking community: elusive, brilliant- legend. Good enough to have wreaked havoc across countries and governments around the world, but surprisingly selective in the hacks they do- and all seemingly for the greater good. Not that Winn’s been following their work for the last few years, or anything.

 

He shakes his head- there’s no way. This has to be a prank. He scans over the top of his computer again, looking for someone paying too much attention (or obviously trying _not_ to look his way).

 

_“Sure. Why don’t you pro-“_

 

His response is interrupted by an enormous data dump. Hundreds of files download and open, flashing across his screen. He’s able to catch a few key words repeated: _LuthorCorp. Cadmus. Classified._

 

It’s over in seconds, the final file displayed prominently in the center of his screen: the building plans for a LuthorCorp testing facility, circa 1985.

 

“Holy shit.” This should not be possible- 

 

_“Heard you’re looking for a missing friend. Thought this might help.”_

 

“HOLY SHIT.”

 

The chat window disappears. Winn runs to find Alex.

 

 

///

 

 

Lena's chance comes on the third day. (At least she thinks it's the third day. Would it kill them to do their evil machinations in a building with some windows?)

 

The goon assigned to shadow her is sloppy and clearly thinks she poses about as much of a threat as a kitten. 

 

She fully intends to take advantage of his gross miscalculation. 

 

He leaves her alone in the lab with just a glare that says "don't try anything." Lena smiles demurely and continues tinkering away at her work table. 

 

Once the lock clicks in place behind him she grabs the make-shift electronic pick she's thrown together and presses her ear against the door. He's gone.

 

A few moments later she's sneaking down the hall and into the server room. She keeps the lights off, riffling through the desk tucked in one corner by the blue-tinted glow of the many tiny lights on the servers, blinking at her like so many eyes. The hum of the computers drowns out any other sound and Lena knows it will mask her movements- but also prevent her from hearing someone approach. 

 

She tries not to dwell on how flimsy this plan is. 

 

_Okay…there you are._

 

Lena plugs the flash drive in and starts copying lines of code.

 

_C'mon, c'mon..._

 

"HEY!" 

 

Lena snags the flash drive and ducks out of her chair, kicking it back to tangle in the legs her supposed babysitter. She slips between the rows of servers just as shots ping against the metal housing units. 

 

_So much for mother's orders not to harm me._

 

She hears cursing and grunts as he tries to follow her between the narrow rows. More shots sound and something sharp bites into her arm. She ignores it, ducking and weaving between the rows. She's almost there.

 

Lena slams open the door at the back of the room, spilling out into the hallway. She turns to sprint away but runs right into a burly form in black. She twists, almost escaping his grasp but two arms clamp around her from behind. 

 

Lena goes limp, and the guard grunts in surprise at her sudden dead weight, tipping forward, off-balance. Lena pivots and uses his momentum to push him toward the door- which crashes open as the babysitter catches up, knocking the other guard out cold.

 

Oops.

 

They're all a tangle of limbs now, but the guy that's been chasing her gets free first, and Lena just barely manages to turn her head so the blow clips her brow instead of breaking her nose. 

 

_Shit._ She felt that.

 

She's on the ground, half on top of the unconscious guard. Even with her ears ringing she can hear the other guy standing over her. "I don't care whose daughter you are. You're not worth the fucking trouble."

 

Lena plays disoriented- okay, it's actually not that hard to do what with her head throbbing and all that- while she reaches beneath her.

 

_Ch-chick._ "Any last words?"

 

_Thanks for stalling for me._

 

Lena rolls over, gun in hand.

 

Two shots ring out.

 

 

 

///

 

 

 

 

Lena hits him square in the chest. 

 

But she's not hit- (she’s not, right?)

 

Where did the other-?

 

The Cadmus agent crumples to the side, revealing Alex Danvers, armed to the teeth and storming the hall like a freaking commando. "Lena!" 

 

Alex takes the guard's gun out of his limp hand, tucking it in the small of her back. Crouching down, she slings her own weapon to the side so she can help Lena stand. Her brow is furrowed with worry as she takes in the scuffs and bruises on Lena's face. "How bad are you hurt?"

 

Lena winces briefly as she stands but waves away Alex's concern. "I'm fine. Looks worse than it is."

 

Alex looks like she might press but just nods. "Alright. Maggie's clearing us an exit." She starts to move away, clearly expecting Lena to follow. 

 

Lena grabs her arm, "Wait, Alex, what happened- Kara- is she alright?" 

 

Alex tries valiantly not to react to Kara's name but she flinches involuntarily. Someone less adept at reading people might've missed it, but you don't become the CEO of a multi-billion dollar empire without mastering the art of observation. Lena's heart drops.

 

Alex searches Lena's face and Lena sees the moment Alex realizes that she _knows_. 

 

The sorrow in Alex's gaze lands a blow far worse than any she's taken today. 

 

"She's alive." It comes out as a whisper, a prayer. 

 

_For now._ The qualifier goes unspoken, hanging like a specter in the space between them.

 

Alex opens her mouth only to close it again, lips pressed into a firm line, as if she wants to say more, but can't. 

 

Lena has so many questions- _Where is she? What happened? How bad is it? Who's taking care of her?_ \- but knows they need to wait. She senses that Alex is walking a fine line between sister and agent- that her heart is wherever Kara is and it's taking an incredible amount of will to be focused here, now. 

 

Lena feels that pull as well, has been fighting it since she lost sight of Kara on the roof- and she's so close- _so_ close to seeing her, to confirming with her own eyes that Kara's still alive... but they've got to get out first. 

 

Lena sucks in a breath. _She's alive._ That will have to do for now.

 

They mutually force their attentions back to the problems at hand. Alex reaches back, handing over the gun she'd taken off the Cadmus agent.

 

She waits for Lena to check that the magazine is full and flip the safety off, for her to nod that she's ready, then leads them down the hall, tapping her mic as they move. "Rebel Command, this is Red Leader. I've got Skywalker." 

 

Lena arches a startled eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

 

Alex grimaces and whispers as they proceed down the hall. "Winn won a bet and now he gets to come up with operational code names for the next three months." 

 

Lena huffs a short laugh despite their situation. That certainly explains a lot. The unexpected levity eases the tightness in her chest- maybe Winn is even more of a genius than she realized.

 

 

 

(What Alex doesn't tell Lena is that the bet was about her and Kara.

 

_ “My sister does not like Lena- not like like. I mean, they're close but- I think I would know if she was interested in someone- especially her best friend." _

 

_ "Wanna bet?” _

 

Alex should've known better- Winn had been angling for mission naming rights for _months._ He wouldn't have bet without being damn sure he'd win.

 

Despite her confidence, Alex was reluctant to ask Kara outright- but in the end she didn't need to. As soon as she started looking for it- at game nights, movie nights, how Kara talked about Lena, how she rearranged her schedule to spend time with her- well.It was so obvious Alex can't believe she missed it. She was distraught enough about being out of touch with her sister that she ended up conceding the bet to Winn without a fight.

 

And apparently she'd been the last to notice- when she told Maggie she just winced sympathetically. 

 

_ “Babe I could've told you not to take that bet." _

 

_ "You knew?" _

 

_"Alex, there's been something between them since the beginning- I just didn't know if they'd ever act on it.”_ )

 

 

 

The two women continue to move stealthily down the hall, Alex leading, rifle up, steps sure.

 

They pass through several corridors, winding through the labyrinthian facility.They've encountered little resistance but the sounds of gunshots can be heard faintly, and Alex knows their luck won't last. 

 

She signals Lena to stop for a moment while she consults the layout Winn gave her. Gun up, covering them while Alex checks the readout, Lena whispers, "So which Skywalker am I?" 

 

Alex snorts.

 

Two lefts and a right. 

 

She tucks the layout back into one of the pockets of her tactical vest. They keep moving, the sound of gunfire growing slightly louder.

 

She whispers back, "Leia, of course. Luke is a whiny little- _SHIT_!"

 

Two guards are waiting for them around the corner. 

 

Alex ducks under the swing of the first, grabbing his arm and twisting it into a lock behind his back. She uses him as leverage to land a kick to the gut of the second guard, doubling him over. 

 

Lena, meanwhile, casually plucks the taser from the first guard's belt and zaps the second one in the neck. She holds the taser out to Alex who just smiles wickedly. She knees her guy in the face and lets him drop to the ground. 

 

"I'm good. Thanks though." 

 

Lena shrugs and returns Alex's grin with one of her own. 

 

With her heart pounding in her ears, adrenaline coursing through her limbs, she can almost forget the tight band of worry around her chest, the constant thrum of _Kara, Kara, Kara_. 

 

Almost.

 

Footsteps and shouts ring out at the end of the hall and both women swing about, weapons raised- but it's Maggie who dives around the corner, rolling out of a somersault and into a crouch from which she shoots the guard following her. He drops and she glances over her shoulder with a cocky smirk. "Hey guys. Ready to go?"

 

Alex rolls her eyes, but when Maggie gets close she can't help it- she pulls Maggie in for a hug and a quick, rough kiss, then pushes her half-heartedly. “Showoff."

 

Maggie's dimples are on full display. She shrugs, head to shoulder. "What can I say? I'm a badass." She leans around Alex to get a good look at Lena, frowning at the injuries she can see. "You okay, Luthor?” 

 

Lena nods, looking somewhat disbelievingly at the pair, with their guns and kisses and bravado. She gets the feeling this is just another day in the life for them.

 

Maggie and Alex reach for their ears at the same time and Maggie starts walking briskly down the hall. "Time to go!"

 

"Vasquez has our exit?" Alex asks, motioning Lena to follow, taking rear guard herself.

 

Maggie nods even as she clears the next corner. "The evil queen slipped away again though." 

 

Alex feels fury rise up to choke her but she pushes it down- nothing to be done about it now. They'll get Lena to safety, Kara will get better, and then they'll take care of Lillian, _together_.

 

They move to the roof with relative ease, headed for the chopper that alights just as they step out of the stairwell. Vasquez motions them forward, backlit by the flare she’d dropped to signal their exfil. 

 

Alex double checks they’ve got all members of the small strike team on board and then signals to the pilot with a swirling motion of her hand. 

 

“Command, this is Red Leader. Phase One complete, Phase Two is a go. I repeat, Phase Two is a go.”

 

As the chopper rises, a swarm of black vehicles becomes visible below, approaching with deadly speed. 

 

Lena, strapped in across from Alex, notes the secondary strike team and looks at her questioningly. She shouts over the whir of the rotors, “Phase Two?”

 

Alex’s look is steady, loaded with something Lena can’t quite decipher. “You were our priority. We sent a small insertion team to best take advantage of the element of surprise. Those guys,” she tilts her head down toward the trucks, “will go in and clear the facility, gather as many operatives and as much information as they can.” 

 

Huh. 

 

That’s… Lena’s not used to being prioritized like that.

 

And she doesn’t miss that “we sent a small insertion team” actually means Alex gathered Maggie and a few of her best agents and volunteered to lead an incredibly dangerous extraction. For her.

 

Alex gives her a tight smile and then turns her attention back to the updates coming in through her comms. Lena leans her head back, content to close her eyes for the duration of the ride. The stress of the last few days catches up to her and the security of being among allies- _friends_ -lulls her into a light sleep.

 

 

///

 

 

It’s Maggie who notices first. They’re walking through the grey halls of the DEO when she double takes and pulls Lena to a stop, voice laced with concern.

 

“Hey, you’re hit!”

 

Lena looks at her blankly- she’s entirely focused on getting to Kara and why Maggie would stop them is beyond her- until Maggie points to her arm. There’s a tear in the sleeve of the borrowed black tactical jacket she’d been wearing around the cold Cadmus facility, the fabric around it shining in the lights. When Lena touches the edges her fingers come away red. “Oh.”

 

She pulls on the fabric and a jagged tear in her skin becomes visible through the hole. “I didn’t feel it.” She drops her hand. “I’m sure it’s not that b-“

 

“Alex!” Maggie calls out, ignoring Lena’s protest and waving down her fiancé. 

 

“You guys, it’s fine-“ 

 

Maggie _tsks_ , and Alex steps in, gently handling Lena’s arm to check the wound herself. She seems satisfied it’s not too severe and steps back, one hand still on Lena’s arm, giving her a once-over. “You sure you’re not hit anywhere else?”

 

Maggie’s doing the same and Lena would point out that the coordinated movements is adorable if she didn't think they'd kick her ass and also could they just keep moving please?

 

“I don’t believe so.” Lena looks down at herself and then shrugs at them, everything in her body language pushing to keep walking. Kara is literally yards away and she just- she just needs to lay eyes on her. 

 

Maggie’s expression is a mix of affection and exasperation, but she picks up on Lena’s impatience. “Alright, c’mon. You can treat her in the infirmary, right Alex?”

 

Alex nods the affirmative.

 

Lena just barely manages to hide her relief as they continue on. The DEO is a maze of hallways, each as unremarkable as the next, and so when they round a corner into the medical wing Lena is somewhat unprepared for the suite of glass-walled rooms and beeping monitors and gleaming sterile surfaces. Lena’s eyes search urgently for a glimpse of blond hair. She’s about to step past the first few rooms when she’s stopped- _again_ \- by a hand on her arm, and she swears, if one more person delays her she’s going to lose her shit.

 

She turns, not bothering to hide her frustration, “ _Alex_ -“

 

Oh. 

 

The badass agent in charge is gone, and it’s Alex, Kara’s big sister, Lena’s tentative friend, who looks at her now with sorrow and sympathy and caution in her eyes. The shift is so dramatic it stops Lena completely.

 

Alex releases the grip she had on Lena’s arm, starts to cross her arms and shifts mid gesture to bury her hands in her pockets.

 

“Sorry.” And she does look sorry, and exhausted, like the weariness is stitched to her bones. 

 

Lena’s frustration knocks back a few clicks. 

 

“I know you’re eager to see her, I just- it’s…” Alex swallows and looks down. She does cross her arms now, and her voice is a low rasp when she continues. “It’s bad.”

 

The cold returns, seeping into Lena’s chest.

 

Alex lifts her gaze to meet Lena’s and Lena finally sees the fracturing that Alex has endured these last few days. “I didn’t want you to go in there without any warning.”

 

“Oh. I- Okay,” Lena nods. It’s not okay- icy fingers of dread are clawing along her spine- but the thrum of Kara’s name is still beating in time with her heart, and she’ll just have to deal with whatever comes next. “Okay.”

 

Alex nods back, a bit unsure, her gaze assessing, and then she simply turns and leads the way to Kara’s room.

 

 

Winn looks up from Kara’s side, his eyes widening when he sees Lena. Lena just barely manages to maneuver her injured arm out of the way before he wraps her in a firm hug. Lena’s gaze is fixed beyond him, but she returns the hug, thankful for someone to lean on as she takes in the pale form lying on the bed.

 

 

Alex was right to warn her. 

 

 

Winn pulls back and whatever he was about to say is abandoned when he sees her face. He squeezes her shoulder once in sympathy. “She’s… stable.”

 

Lena doesn’t really register his words, though by his expression they’re meant to comfort. 

 

 

There’s a dull roar in her ears.

 

 

She steps slowly into the room, vaguely aware of Alex and Winn discussing Kara’s vitals from the last few hours, Maggie moving out into the hall to check in with J’onn and NCPD.

 

She stops at the edge of the bed, close enough she can feel the warmth emanating from the lamps placed along the sides. 

 

(Sun lamps, if she had to guess. She’s struck suddenly by a reel of memories- flashes of both Kara and Supergirl tilting her head toward the sun, one moment playing after the other in quick succession.) 

 

A new kind of pain makes itself known in her chest. 

 

Because this is what she’s been fighting for- to get to Kara’s side, to find her alive. And Kara _is_ alive… but though Lena’s not a medical professional, she’s smart enough to know that the array of machines around Kara indicates a fragile hold on life. One she’s not capable of sustaining on her own.

 

“Lena?” She starts, the roar in her ears starting to dissipate as she turns to look at Alex. Alex gestures with gloved hands to the cart in front of her. “I can take a look at that graze, if you’re ready.”

 

Lena nods, sinking into the chair beside the bed. Winn pauses on his way out the door, placing a hand on Lena’s shoulder. “Good to have you back, Skywalker.”

 

And it’s that bit of kindness, the gift of a smile and a moment of levity that pulls Lena fully from the trance she’d fallen into. She manages a small but sincere smile in return. “Thank you.” Her gaze conveys that she knows his part in her rescue, in taking care of Kara.

 

He nods, slipping his hands into his pockets, ducking his head once before looking back at her. “Any time.”

 

 

Winn leaves and Alex finishes prepping the gauze and tools she brought over. Lena shrugs out of the jacket, unable to hide her wince as the wound pulls. Alex frowns but doesn’t otherwise comment, for which Lena is grateful. 

 

Her shirt sports a long hole torn by the bullet and is soaked through with blood. Alex brandishes a pair of scissors. “Probably easiest if just cut this away- you alright with that?”

 

Lena nods, her gaze straying to the bed beside them. 

 

Alex is efficient and as gentle as she can be. She cleans and treats the wound, telling Lena what she’s doing along the way, pausing to let her brace before the painful parts, her hands steady and sure, her voice calm and soothing. When the stitching starts, Lena doesn’t watch, turning to Kara instead, reaching out with her unoccupied arm to take Kara’s hand in her own. 

 

She tries not to dwell on how unnatural the stillness is, but seeing Kara like this Lena realizes just how much _motion_ is a part of who Kara is. Graceful fingers and endearing gestures, powerful punches and sure, sweeping strides.

 

The local anesthetic Alex administered isn’t doing much but Lena’s grateful for the pain. It’s keeping her grounded.

 

Alex finishes wrapping her arm and Lena breaks the silence.“How bad is it?”

 

Alex’s hands still from where she was adjusting items on the tray. The gaze she turns on Lena is calculating, and Lena can’t help but sit a bit straighter.

 

“Would you like to see her chart?” 

 

 

That’s… unexpected. 

 

 

Despite her relationship with Kara and some of the others here, Lena is still a Luthor, in a secret government facility, newly in possession of the identity of their most valuable asset. And now Alex is offering her full access to information about the precarious well-being of National City’s beloved hero.

 

(She’s also used to doctors dancing around their answers, speaking in “if”s and “maybe”s and “we hope”s. Kara mentioned her sister not finishing medical school, but Alex Danvers is clearly a medical professional. And yet, like all things Danvers, it would appear she’s not an ordinary one.)

 

 

Unexpected or not, Lena nods gratefully. 

 

 

Alex peels off one of her gloves, retrieving a tablet and swiping a few times before handing it to Lena. “If you hold still I can clean up that cut while you read.” 

 

Lena is already three pages in and makes a vague affirmative sound, barely noting when Alex starts working on the cut along her brow. She asks a few clarifying questions as she pours over the information, but otherwise they fall into an amicable silence.

 

 

Lena finishes reading, her head swirling. “So she would normally have healed by now, aided by the solar lamps.”

 

Alex nods from her spot across the bed. Lena leans back, already weighing and discarding a dozen possible answers in her mind. “And we just… wait for her to wake up?”

 

Alex heaves a sigh, resting her elbows on her knees. “I’ve run every test, brought in an expert on alien physiology- we’ve literally tried everything Winn and the medical staff and I can think of.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know what else to do.” It comes out quiet and Lena sees the toll that admission takes in the curve of Alex’s shoulders.

 

“We’re not going to stop trying, and I would gladly take any input you’ve got, but-“ Alex leans back again, crossing her arms, exhaustion lining her features. “Yeah, for now, we wait.”

 

Lena’s certain she’ll have suggestions as she processes the information- and she’s surprised and thrilled to be read in- but Alex’s eyes have drifted closed and she can feel her own growing heavy. Pulling her chair closer to the bed, Lena laces her fingers with Kara’s, propping her head up with the other hand.

 

The refrain beating in her chest changes.

 

_Kara is Supergirl._

 

_Kara is alive._

 

 

Nothing is going to be the same, she’s certain. But for the first time since she watched Kara disappear off that rooftop, she feels a spark inside her chest. 

 

It’s not much, but it’s something.

 

 

_Hope._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a long one! Hope you guys enjoy. Like I said, let me know if you'd rather have longer chapters or more frequent updates, and I'll try to accomodate. I'm trying to keep it less than two weeks between chapters but the length of the chapter makes a pretty big difference.
> 
> Odd note: I couldn’t remember if it was cannon Lena knew of the DEO, so even though this is post- season 2, I’ve written it as if she doesn’t officially know.
> 
> Oh, also I had an inquiry as to the timing of this story relative to the show. It’s set something like 6-9 months after the Season 2 finale.
> 
> Thanks all!


	7. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Lucy Lane, for saving me from writer's block.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out guys- as always, thanks for reading and sticking with me. And thanks to all you lovely humans who have been commenting- you guys are the shit.

 

J'onn senses the storm coming and heads briskly for the elevators to cut her off.

 

"J'ONN J’ONZZ!"

 

He's a few steps too late, agents skittering out of the way of the tempest as he rounds the corner.

 

_"Where is she?"_

 

Lucy is in full tactical gear, smudges of dark face paint smeared along her jaw where it was hastily wiped away. The red of a scrape and the underlying bruise coloring her cheekbone, her hair windblown- she must've hopped on a motorcycle and driven straight here from the base. 

 

Her eyes are alight with fury as she advances on him.

 

“Director La-"

 

"Where's Kara? Is she-" Lucy's teeth clack together, her jaw a tight line. "What the hell J'onn! I cannot believe I had to find out from _Lois_ -"

 

"Lucy!" J'onn's hands settle firmly on her shoulders and she finally stops long enough for him to get a word in.

 

"You were mission dark. I was planning to tell you at your scheduled check-in, which is," he twists his forearm to check his watch, "three hours from now." 

 

Lucy stares at him, breaths heaving, visibly deflating when his words finally register.

 

J'onn's look is sympathetic. "I'm sorry- I didn't realize the mission wrapped early. I would have called if I knew."

 

Lucy exhales heavily, her head dropping forward. She takes a step back, rubbing her forehead. 

 

"How bad?” she asks, considerably softer than before.

 

J'onn doesn't speak, unable to determine how to best answer amidst the chaotic swirl of emotions emanating from his friend. 

 

Lucy straightens, crossing her arms, and when she looks back up her composure is back in place, DEO Director in her voice. "How bad is it?"

 

"She's critical but stable, for now."

 

Lucy gives him a look. He sighs.

 

J'onn starts walking, headed for the privacy of his office. Lucy falls in step. 

As they walk he gives her the details, everything he knows about Kara’s condition so far. By the time they reach his office she's several shades paler. He holds the door for her, closing it with a click behind them.

 

Lucy sinks into one of the chairs in front of his desk and he sees the post-mission exhaustion catching up to her.

 

J'onn leans against the wall, speaking only after they've shared a comfortable silence for some minutes.

 

"There wasn't anything you could've done, even if you were in-country."

 

Lucy's gaze snaps to his, eyes narrowing. "You're not supposed to read my mind without asking."

 

He just smiles. "Didn't have to. I know you, Director Lane."

 

Lucy gives him a withering look but doesn't deny it.

 

“Lena Luthor?"

 

"Got her back, a little worse for wear but safe. She's helping Winn and Alex game-plan Kara's treatment."

 

Lucy leans back in the chair, arms crossed and dirt-crusted boots kicked out in front. 

 

"And Cadmus?"

 

"Not much left to gain from the facility we raided- most of the personnel, weapons and experiments had already been moved off-site. But Miss Luthor was able to provide us with valuable intel: Cadmus is aware of Chimera and planning some kind of response."

 

Lucy leans forward. "That's an interesting development. How'd they end up on Cadmus's radar?"

 

J'onn shakes his head. "Unclear. But if Cadmus has their way, I'm sure they'll do their best to turn this city into a war zone."

 

The approaching conflict weighs heavily on them both, a tangible thing filling the space between them. 

 

It’s something J’onn hadn’t expected, when he took over Henshaw’s place as director- how he would come to feel personally responsible for the safety of the city and it’s people. How invested he would become in this job as a secret protector. How much it would mean to him that the everyday, ordinary people would be spared the things he’s seen and experienced, that they might maintain a sense of safety, blissfully ignorant of the worst things that go bump in the night.That children and other innocents would stay that way- innocent and safe.

 

He rustles through one of the cabinets until he comes up with a small first aid kit which he slides across the desk to Lucy.

 

"You might want to finish cleaning up before you go see Kara." 

 

Lucy frowns and he answers her unspoken question. 

 

"Everyone's feeling... extra protective of friends right now." He gestures to his own cheek. "If you clean that up before you see Alex there's a small chance she won't insist on treating you herself."

 

They share a smile, both aware Alex is the most protective of them all. 

 

J'onn's expression slips into something more solemn. "And you might save her some worry, for which I'd be grateful."

 

Lucy nods but doesn't move just yet, fixing him with a gaze he imagines used to make defendants squirm- though this time it's tempered with affection.

 

"And you? How are you holding up? I saw you've been pulling double duty."

 

J'onn's lips press into a thin line and it's his turn to cross his arms, but he answers honestly. 

 

"We need the public to think Supergirl is alive and well, but-" He sighs. 

 

It was the best solution to the mounting media frenzy after the attack on L-Corp: show the public (and the criminal elements within the city) their hero. It fell to J'onn to patrol every so often as Supergirl- and it worked. 

 

But each time he dons Kara's visage his stomach churns at the wrongness of going out, pretending to be her, while she lies fighting for her life within the walls of the DEO. 

 

Lucy mirrors his expression sympathetically, not needing him to put it to words. 

 

"And outside of that?"

 

J'onn can't help but give her a wry look. She's one of the few people who would even dare to ask about his feelings and she knows it, knows he respects her enough to feel obligated to answer honestly.

 

She raises an eyebrow at him, waiting.

 

J'onn barks a laugh. 

 

"I've missed you, Lucy." His smile is fond. "I'm alright. Very tired. Trying to stay hopeful."

 

Lucy nods, smiles back at him. "Let me know if there's anything I can take off your plate now that I'm here. I'd like to help."

 

"I'll do that." 

 

Lucy rises, snagging the first aid kit from the desk. "You guys still hoarding the nice towels in the locker rooms here?"

 

J'onn chuckles. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about Director Lane."

 

Lucy rolls her eyes. "Yes, yes, all DEO facilities are kept to the same high standards."

 

She fixes him with a look. "I'm going to go prove myself right, and tomorrow when I order new ones for the desert base I better not get any guff from Financial."

 

J'onn just smiles- they both know she can do as she likes, but it's nice to have something trivial to bicker about.

 

“And Lucy?" 

 

She pauses on her way out the door.

 

"Good to have you back."

 

 

///

 

 

Alex goes looking for Lena. 

 

About an hour ago she'd been shocked when the CEO had actually accepted Winn's directive: _"Go shower, grab a cup of coffee if you won't eat. I'll stay with Kara and I don't want to see you back in here until you're clean and caffeinated."_

 

Lena had looked at him, looked at Kara, and then simply nodded with resignation. Alex didn’t miss the kiss she brushed across Kara's brow or how she squeezed Winn's shoulder in silent gratitude as he filled her vacant chair. 

 

 

Not very many months ago, Alex had noted how the casually shared physical affection among their group had surprised Lena, maybe even made her a little uncomfortable (though she always seemed to welcome _Kara’s_ touch). 

 

When Lena had started to reciprocate in her own way- a playful punch to Winn’s shoulder, a nudge of her knee against Maggie’s, her hand on James’ arm to get his attention- Alex’s heart had warmed to see the younger woman become more comfortable in their group, more accepting of her place within it.

 

 

Lena’s been a constant presence at Kara’s side since the rescue, consulting with Winn and Alex, working remotely, trading off shifts sleeping in the one comfortable chair or the cot they brought in so that at least one of them is awake in case Kara regains consciousness. But Alex is pretty sure Lena hasn’t left the room except to use the bathroom, so when Alex gets back from a brief visit to the lab and Lena hasn’t returned, she goes looking. 

 

Winn says he'd seen her briefly post-shower, pre-coffee when she swung by _"just to check in"_ (he says this with exaggerated air quotations and the appropriate amount of sass). 

 

He looks proud, "But I shooed her away." 

 

He deflates a bit, brow furrowing in concern as he turns back to Kara, keeping vigil. 

 

"Girl needs to take care of herself," he says absentmindedly.

 

Alex thinks that if she were to have been blessed with a younger brother, she couldn't have done any better than Winn Schott. 

 

She sets her hand on his shoulder and he reaches up to cover hers with his own, neither looking at the other, both watching for the next rise and fall of Kara's breathing. They stay that way for several minutes before Alex resumes her search.

 

She keeps looking, tamping down the irrational worry that something may have happened to Lena even within the walls of the DEO. (Although, come to think of it, they've had white martians and a musical trickster and Daxamites breach their "top-secret" facility so...)

 

Alex walks a bit faster.

 

She finally spots Lena on a balcony- not the one Kara makes her entrances on, but the one Alex herself prefers, when she needs somewhere quiet to think. She knows J'onn favors this spot as well and wonders idly if he pointed Lena in this direction. 

 

Alex walks out onto the patio, allowing her feet to scuff a bit on the cement so as not to startle Lena. 

 

She’s clad in the extra pair of leggings and a loose black sweatshirt Alex had found among Kara's spare clothes. She’d left them beside Lena's things yesterday. (Was it just yesterday?) 

 

The sweatshirt has a "S.T.A.R. Labs" logo emblazoned in white across the front. Alex had noticed it had become a favorite of Kara's in the last year or so, especially when she was feeling unwell. When Alex had been choosing the clothing for Lena she'd mostly been looking for something comfortable and loose enough it wouldn't constrict the bandages on Lena’s arm, but this had also felt significant somehow- that the sweatshirt clearly means something to Kara, that wearing it brings her comfort. 

 

Seeing Lena in it does achy things to Alex's heart.

 

Lena's elbows rest against the railing, hands clasped. As Alex joins her, mirroring the pose, she is struck by the pang of memory: how many times have she and Kara stood like this? Side by side, eyes to the sky, watching the stars. 

 

There are tear tracks drying on Lena's cheeks but Alex doesn't comment on them, doesn't speak, allowing Lena a chance to compose herself, to choose their course of conversation. (Or not- Alex has found Lena and so her main objective is fulfilled. She's content to share the silence, if that’s what Lena needs.)

 

Alex studies the younger woman from the corner of her eye. She looks... vulnerable. 

 

Her hair is loose and hanging over one shoulder as it dries, dark circles under her eyes, feet bare. 

 

Alex absently notes that Lena's hair has a bit of wave to it- she's so used to seeing it styled perfectly straight, almost severely so. Even at game nights, Lena's usually coming from work and she never quite loses the polished air of a CEO that she's cultivated. 

 

Alex imagines Lena wields that look like Alex would a weapon in the armory- just another powerful tool to get the job done. 

 

Here though, with her bare feet (she'd been wearing heels- did Alex forget to give her shoes?) and hair down, face clear of makeup… she looks impossibly young, and entirely lost. 

 

The bare feet though... god, that reminds Alex of Kara. 

 

How when she first got here she wanted to walk around without shoes even in the winter- something about wanting to feel the ground (or feel grounded? Alex suspects it was this more than anything, after all those years floating in space). Kara had argued that she couldn't get cold, but it was something their parents had to discourage. 

 

The memory, and how much Lena reminds Alex of that younger version of her sister- confused and sad and grasping for something to stay tethered to- oh, it makes Alex's heart ache. 

 

Lena is turning something over in her hands, twisting it between deft fingers. Alex glances at it and can't help but stare a little, mouth open. _Didn’t she give that to-?_

 

Lena catches her staring. "It's not the original." 

 

She stops fiddling and holds the necklace still, draped over the palm of her hand. 

 

"It seemed to mean so much to her- she wore it constantly." Lena rubs her thumb on the pendant. "She stopped wearing it just after the Daxamite attack, after Mon-El..." 

 

She trails off and frowns. Alex imagines Lena's re-remembering that whole event, this time with the knowledge that Kara is Supergirl. 

 

It takes a few minutes before Lena speaks again. 

 

"I made a replica, when I noticed. It took a while, to get the shape right, to find the right metals." Lena shakes her head. "By the time it was finished I wasn't sure if she'd even want it. She finally told me what happened to the first one- that she'd sent it with him. She seemed so sad when I asked and- I didn't want to give her something that would just remind her of loss." 

 

Alex just nods. 

 

Explaining the fullness of it- that Kara _did_ love Mon-El, and her grief had been genuine and deep… but that she also regretted giving away the necklace, had admitted as much to Alex… that as the ache of his departure faded the regret hadn't- well, that seems like a conversation for another time. 

 

So Alex looks at the necklace and says, "I think it would mean a lot to her." 

 

Lena meets her eyes for the first time since Alex walked up. 

 

"You should show her, when she wakes up."

 

Fresh tears fill Lena's eyes at that, and she looks back out over the city. Alex kicks herself mentally- she really hadn't been meaning to make Lena more sad.

 

They stand in silence for a while, sinking into their thoughts, the grief and uncertainty wrought by the last week a heavy weight across both their shoulders.

 

 

Alex breaks the silence first. "She wanted to tell you, you know. Months ago."

 

 

She senses Lena's attention, though neither move, continuing to look out into the night sky.

 

"It was back when your mother took you, when Corbin kidnapped you from jail.”

 

Alex pauses and Lena asks, "so why didn't she?" 

 

Lena can't quite hide the vulnerability she feels with that question. 

 

_Why didn’t she trust me?_ Does _she trust me? Do_ you _?_

 

She doesn't say any of that but Alex is a good agent. She glances at Lena before continuing.

 

"Not because of your name.” Alex fills those words with as much sincerity as she can. “Kara trusts you- we all do.”

 

Lena looks like she wants to believe Alex’s words but isn’t sure.

 

Alex wonders how to convey the complexity of Kara’s decision.

 

“Despite all her optimism, Kara's seen the darkness people are capable of- even the people she loves. Even herself." 

 

Red eyes flash in Alex's memory, a sneering smile, strength and kindness and hope turned to power and cruelty and cold inhumanity. 

 

Alex swallows as she also remembers a gleaming green sword- covered in Astra's blood and, later, Kara's. She forces her hands to unclench, an unconscious response to the memories.

 

"She's not naive- believing the best of people is a choice she makes every day." Alex smirks softly. "Don't tell her I said so but she's actually a pretty decent judge of character." 

 

Here she turns to face Lena, arms crossed as she leans a hip against the railing. "She was right about _you_."

 

Lena looks at her and Alex knows they're both remembering all the times Lena has been judged by her mother or her brother's actions, all the times Kara vehemently defended her.

 

"Kara trusts you, and I do too,” Alex repeats. “I hope you know that." 

 

She tries to let Lena see how earnestly, how honestly she means those words. 

 

"The woman I've come to know- the woman my sister loves-" Alex pretends not to notice Lena start at the choice of words, "-is nothing like her family. She is more than her name." 

 

Lena looks away, brow furrowed, and Alex thinks she might be holding back tears again so she changes tactics a bit. 

 

"As far as the DEO is concerned, you're an ally, have been all along.” Her tone is now playfully professional, and she leans back against the railing. "But you're still going to have to sign those NDA's."

 

Lena snorts and Alex counts it as a victory. 

 

After a moment Lena looks at Alex to ask again, "so why didn't she tell me?"

 

Alex breathes deep, crossing her arms as she thinks of how to answer that.

 

"How much do you remember about that night Lillian broke you out of jail, took you to Lex's vault under the mountain?

 

Lena quirks an eyebrow at the detour. "Not much after I was knocked out. A vague sense of flying, some voices- nothing coherent."

 

Alex nods, deciding where to pick up her story. 

 

"After you were knocked out-" she stops and directs a pointed look at Lena- "which, by the way, has happened way too often for my liking. You need to be more careful. We'll work on that." 

 

Lena gapes.

 

Alex notices Lena’s shock at being big-sistered but chooses to give her a moment to collect her jaw off the floor before turning to her with her best "serious doctor" face. 

 

"Concussions are not to be taken lightly." She lets a half-grin slip as she faces outward again. "Can't have anything happening to that brilliant head of yours."

 

That gets a chuckle from Lena, and a smile- a bit disbelieving, but still a smile. 

 

_Good._

 

"Kara got you out. Metallo's core went nuclear and it essentially created a kryptonite explosion." Alex pauses and Lena sees her jaw clench- the only outward sign of the intensity of the memory. "She- you both- almost didn't make it."

 

Alex inhales deeply, moving past the moment of uncertainty and terror etched in her mind, when she'd yelled for her sister and had not known if she'd ever hear her voice back again in return.

 

"As it was, she'd inhaled some of the particles, and by the time she landed here she was in respiratory distress, but she wouldn't let us help her until I promised to check you for injuries first." 

 

Another small, knowing smile, a shake of her head. "Stubborn." 

 

"You were ok, minor bumps and bruises and we put you in one of our infirmary rooms. Normally you would've been transferred directly to a hospital but- well, like I said, Kara was pretty insistent."

 

Alex continues, "I got Kara on some oxygen, got her settled under the sun lamps. I thought she'd fallen asleep but when I checked on her later she was gone."

 

Alex expression is rueful. 

 

"I knew where she'd gone and fully intended to kick her alien ass for being stubborn and dumb but when I got there she was slumped in a chair by your bed. And I knew right away something was wrong. She's gets this-" 

 

Alex gestures vaguely to forehead, trying to think of the word.

 

"Crinkle," Lena supplies with a small, fond smile.

 

Alex looks at her in surprise, then smiles as well. "Yes, crinkle."

 

"So I sat beside her, and I didn't yell or scold," she says this as if it was a feat of great self-control that ought to be rewarded.

 

She frowns. "When I asked her what was wrong, she-" 

 

Alex shakes her head, sadness in her eyes. 

 

"She asked me how many times I’ve been targeted because she’s my sister. Asked how many times James or Winn or Eliza had been in danger because they're close to her. And she looked at me and I could see that she was holding this- this _guilt_. This responsibility, for every time one of us- someone she loves- gets hurt." 

 

Alex goes on. 

 

"She's learned that she can't save everyone, and I think she knows- in her head at least- that that includes all of us. And that it's not her responsibility to keep us safe." 

 

Alex huffs a sigh, running a hand through her hair. 

 

"We've had that conversation a lot over the years- how to weigh her abilities and the responsibility to do what's right with the fact she also has a responsibility to herself, to have a life- that she shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting that. I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to protect her, to keep her from having to add any more to the weight she carries, the loss of her family, her whole world, but..." 

 

Alex trails off, eyes tight. “I can’t protect her from loss. And it's part of what makes her such a hero- that she has such high regard for every single life, even after everything she’s been through."

 

Alex sighs heavily and looks at Lena. 

 

"She wanted to tell you that night- it was eating her up inside. But she couldn't get past the danger she'd be putting you in. She- she got thinking about all of us and, despite the fact that your life isn't exactly boring and free of risks, the chances of you getting hurt because of her... they would inevitably go up. A lot." 

 

Alex shakes her head. 

 

"I tried to talk her out of it but I knew she was right, at least about that. It _is_ dangerous, knowing a hero's identity, being someone they love." 

 

Alex doesn't say this as if it's something bad, but just as a fact- one she is glad and proud to contend with, one that is the smallest of prices to pay for her relationship with Kara. She suspects Lena feels the same way.

 

"I didn't agree with her decision- and I'm not entirely sure she did either- but I wasn't going to take that away from her- the choice to try and keep someone she loves safe. Not after she's lost so much."

 

 

///

 

 

Lena’s head swims with everything Alex reveals. 

 

She gets why Kara didn’t tell her. 

 

Because of course Lena knows _why:_ having a secret identity only works to keep yourself and the people you love safe if it's actually a secret _._

 

_A_ nd there's the whole Luthor thing, after all.

 

But some part of her is still hurt and has been wondering why her best friend hadn't trusted her with this- this huge piece of who she is.

 

When Alex asks about that night at the mountain, Lena's not sure if it's a deflection but she's willing to see where the detour takes them.

 

She bites her lip as Alex reveals what happened, after. She’s stuck somewhere between affection, wonder, and the strangeness of having no memory of those events. 

 

And then Alex talks of Kara- _Kara,_ not Supergirl _-_ carrying the burden of the Last Daughter of Krypton, living each day with unquantifiable, unspeakable loss. 

 

Lena can see how much it hurts Alex- the knowledge of that weight, not being able to protect Kara, to save her from that pain.

 

Her doubt and frustration become more complicated as she hears how Kara looked out for her, the fear for Lena’s safety, the deep desire to keep her safe.

 

And Alex doesn’t have to say it. 

 

Lena knows- knows it as a resonance in her soul. 

 

That Kara would do anything, _anything_ to protect the people she loves, would give her all to keep even a stranger safe. 

 

Anything to keep another life being added to that dark side of the scale, the one already weighted more than any soul should have to live with.

 

 

Even if it meant making a choice that hurts, that _inflicts_ hurt. 

 

 

“I wasn't going to take that away from her- the choice to try and keep someone she loves safe. Not after she's lost so much,” Alex is saying. 

 

Lena thinks she gets it.

 

She and Kara still have some things to talk about but… Alex has provided valuable context. Lena might disagree with Kara’s conclusion but she can’t help but understand the choice Kara made, even if she’s been hurt by it. 

 

 

They can work with that.

 

 

Lena takes her time responding, weighing Alex's words, measuring her own response. 

 

Finally she says, "Thank you. That… helps.”

 

"Kara and I still have some things to work through, but,” Lena turns her head to look at Alex. "That really was helpful. Thank you."

 

Alex nods, clasped hands bouncing on the rail in time with her head. 

 

They resume their watching of the city. A crisp breeze from the bay filters through the buildings, the promise of spring in its scent. 

 

Lena breathes deeply, grateful to be in the open air, free. Wondering if the air tastes different from the heights where Kara flies. Wishing Kara were standing beside them so she could ask.

 

“Thank you, by the way. For coming to get me.”

 

Alex looks at her briefly before turning back to the view. “Kara, when she was-“ 

 

Alex cuts herself off and Lena thinks maybe she doesn't want to know what’s causing the haunted look in Alex’s eyes. 

 

“She was worried about you. Made me promise to find you, to get you out.” Now Alex meets her gaze. “But we would’ve come for you anyway.”

 

Alex is sincere, steely. It looks an awful lot like protectiveness, like family. 

 

Lena wonders when she’ll get used to seeing that directed at her, on her behalf.

 

She nods, speaks through a tightening throat. “Thank you.”

 

Her toes curl against the cement, the rough texture reassuring. Warmth emanates from the surface, having soaked in the sun all day. 

 

With the stars above, the wind in her hair, and the sun at her feet, Kara’s name beats steadily in her chest, and Lena watches the sun rise.

 

 

///

 

 

“It’s okay, you know."

 

Lucy starts, glancing left with a grimace. Maggie should not have been able to sneak up on her like that.

 

She leans into the offered hug, clasping her arms tightly around the other woman before leaning back to get a good look at her. "How you holding up? How's Alex?"

 

Maggie cocks her head. "We're hanging in. How are _you_ doing, Lane?"

 

Not hiding her feelings as well as she thought, apparently."I'm fine."

 

Lucy leans against the wall beside Maggie, directing her gaze through the window and into the infirmary once again. They stand in silence, watching Winn tap away at a tablet at Kara's bedside.

 

Maggie speaks. ”My father and I... don't get along, haven't really talked since he kicked me out of the house as a teenager." A small tip of Maggie's head. "But I hear you're no stranger to complicated father-daughter relationships."

 

Lucy glances at her. The bit about her father is new information, but the lack of emotion behind her words indicates it's not the point of her story. She doesn't comment, just nods to acknowledge the newfound common ground.

 

"The closest thing I ever had to a genuine father figure was my training officer." Maggie smiles fondly. "Good man. Managed to stay that way despite the job and the mess that is Gotham."

 

Sadness ghosts across her face as she nods toward the window. "He got caught in a chemical attack my third year on the force. Died in a hospital room like this one. I held his hand."

 

Lucy's mouth opens and closes soundlessly. There are no words for something like that. She knows.

 

Maggie tilts her head to look at Lucy, empathy shining deeply in her eyes. "I don't know who you lost, but it's okay, if you don't go in, if you can't." 

 

She turns to face forward again. "Took me years before I could step foot in a hospital room without heaving my guts out."

 

Lucy weighs the cost of being vulnerable in this moment, of acknowledging the memories that are there, just below the surface, waiting to drag her under.

 

"My mother." Lucy feels Maggie's eyes on her and meets her gaze. "Cancer."

 

She looks away. "I watched her waste away. And then Lois left and my father disappeared into his work, became this military persona- a general with no time to be a father."

 

It stings, even now- that he shut her out of his grief, that they both left her to shoulder the burden of her own sorrow alone. 

 

She's not sure that wound will ever heal.

 

"Every time I see a hospital bed the nightmares come back, even after all these years. Not even Afghanistan stayed with me like that."

 

She's lost count over the years- how many nights she's watched the people she loves, reduced to skin and bones, fading into dust before her eyes. And all the while she's paralyzed, powerless, unable to do anything but bear witness to their deaths. 

 

Lucy huffs a laugh. "When Kara first told me she was Supergirl I thought I'd finally found a friend who wouldn't end up starring in my nightmares." 

 

She shakes her head. "God, I was a fool. We made it, like, three weeks before shit hits the fan and she's flying into space to save us all."

 

What Lucy doesn't say is that after Myriad she didn't dream about Kara getting sick, or disappearing into space. No, the nightmare was this one- the one where Kara gets shot. 

 

Because even though she was under Myriad's control, Lucy remembers looking down her gun, firing bright green rounds, Kara’s pleading face in her crosshairs, Kara jerking to the side as one of the rounds connects with her arm.

 

What Lucy wouldn't give for this to be one of her dreams. To be able to wake and find the world right again.

 

Lucy looks at Maggie, ready to change the subject. "J'onn said you and Alex were on site when..."

 

Maggie nods and Lucy sees the weariness in the curl of Maggie's shoulders. Between Lois and J'onn Lucy has pieced together the events of that day, and the woman in front of her was at ground zero, saw the worst of it.

 

"Yeah." Maggie's eyes go unfocused and Lucy wonders what she's seeing, remembering. Her voice is even rougher than it's usual rasp. "Talk about nightmares."

 

Maggie comes back from her memories. "I've got a nice bottle of scotch at home waiting for when this is over. Which, you're welcome to help me with, by the way."

 

Lucy's been friends with Maggie long enough to know she deflects with humor, but the smirk she gives Lucy doesn't reach her eyes or cover the haunted look there. 

 

Lucy wants to press, if only to remind Maggie that she should talk to someone, shouldn't bottle up those memories. She knows first hand how the things you shove down can end up eating you up inside. 

 

But despite Maggie's calm exterior, she's clearly still feeling raw. This is a fresh wound, and Lucy's not going to poke it.

 

"Name the time and place and I'll be there." 

 

Maggie smiles and nods. Gathering herself, she pushes off the wall.

 

"Want to spell Winn with me?" 

 

It's an invitation, not a challenge. Lucy knows she won't be judged if she declines. 

 

But she needs to see Kara without any barriers between them. Wants her friend to hear her voice, to know she's here.

She's a marine. She doesn't back down. She doesn't leave anyone behind.

 

_No time like the present to face your fears._

 

Lucy nods, and they step into the room together.


	8. Waking from a Dream

 

She's been here before.

 

This in-between space.

 

Not awake.

 

Not asleep.

 

A darkness that's half unconsciousness, half... something else.

 

Maybe she's dead- or dying?

 

Kara can’t tell, and she’s too tired to resist the darkness when it pulls her under again.

 

///

 

There's a voice. Someone she knows.

 

Someone she _loves_.

 

She focuses on the voice and the darkness recedes, becomes a murky fog.

 

They sound... sad. So sad.

 

Kara tries to fight, but she cannot move.

 

If she could just get to the voice, she could make it better.

 

But she's surrounded by wisps of dull grey, too intangible to grasp.

 

They swirl and coalesce and as the voice fades they pull her back into darkness.

 

///

 

She's been here before.

 

Floating.

 

Cold.

 

Silence.

 

Pinpoints of starlight sparkling in the dark.

 

_No. Rao, please._

 

She can’t do this again. The emptiness of space. The crawl of years.

 

Not knowing when it will end. _If_ it will end.

 

She’s choking on despair when the voice returns.

 

She knows this voice.

 

The stars shift, Krypton’s constellations morphing into another familiar starscape. A soothing sound fills the silence: rhythmic movements of water.

 

With the voice come other sensations.

 

The smell of pine and gunpowder.

 

Familiar calloused hands.

 

A heartbeat.

 

_Alex?_

 

Hope and relief flood her veins.

 

_Alex._

 

She escaped the Phantom Zone. She came to earth. She found Alex.

 

She’s not alone.

 

///

 

With the relief comes a question: why is Alex so sad?

 

The darkness holds her still, keeps her from reaching out, from going to her sister.

 

No. They keep each other safe. They take care of each other- always.

 

Kara gathers herself, determined to pull away from the hold on her mind, her body.

 

She heaves, and the black turns grey, then to pale light.

 

But with the light comes _pain._

 

It strikes hard and fast, a flash of white-hot agony through her chest. It slams her back- down, down into the darkness.

 

She tries- she does.

 

But her body does not listen, and she sinks back into unconsciousness.

 

///

 

The voice- _Alex_ \- comes and goes.

 

Sometimes there are others. With the others come sounds and smells and impressions and _memories._

 

Friendship, laughter, loyalty. Joy in sharing.

 

Steadiness, kindness, integrity. Sweet affection.

 

Sorrow, strength, wisdom. Old. Knowing- knowing what it’s like.

 

Sarcasm and intelligence. Alex? Alex. Sharp but gentle. Change… for good. For better.

 

Comfort, safety, family. Warmth in the midst of so much fear.

 

And with the memories come names. Names she repeats as she continues to reach for the light.

 

_Winn, James, J’onn, Maggie, Eliza. Alex._

 

But though she strives, she can’t find her way. Back to them. To her family.

 

_Family._

 

The black turns to grey and stays there.

 

///

 

Waiting in the darkness, Kara begins to wonder.

 

What if she never finds her way to the light? What if she actually _is_ dead? What if she's trapped somewhere between dimensions with nothing but her own memories for company, manifested in the voices of her friends and family?

 

What if she can't get back?

 

To her friends, her family. To Alex.

 

Alex would be okay, eventually. Kara made her promise. And she's got Maggie- and J’onn and Winn and the others. She would be okay.

 

(This thought- that regardless of where Kara is or where she ends up, her sister will be alright, has people who love her and will look out for her- this breathes air into Kara's lungs.)

 

She begins to wonder how it would feel to sleep.

 

She doesn't want to leave them, but her body refuses to cooperate, even less than her mind.

 

And Rao, she's just so _tired_.

 

But then a new voice joins the others.

 

This one is… different.

 

This voice sends a flood of… _something_ through her chest.

 

This voice causes the neverending grey to pulse brighter with each syllable spoken.

 

This voice is full of grief and hope and… something unfulfilled.

 

A feeling like... standing on a ledge. Like the moment between lifting up on her toes and tipping forward into the arms of the wind.

 

It tugs on Kara. A sense of unfinished business, of a promise not yet kept.

 

_I will always protect you._

 

The tug comes harder, a memory flitting at the edges of her reach.

 

_You’re not going to lose me._

 

It feels important, remembering the voice.

 

She needs to know. She needs to remember.

 

She needs to wake up.

 

///

 

Lena is dreaming.

 

She has to be.

 

Because the blood coating her hands is Kara’s. It's dark and warm and there's so much- too much.

 

But she can feel the ground biting into her knees as she kneels at Kara’s side, and a cold wind snaps against her face.

 

Kara’s eyes are open, unseeing.

 

Something in Lena shatters.

 

She tips her head back to the angry sky, a scream trapped in her throat, tight and raw and-

 

Lena wakes with a jolt, just barely swallowing the cry that was so desperately trying to escape.

 

Maggie looks up from where she is perched cross-legged on the end of the second infirmary bed, case files spread around her. Lena waves away her concerned look, standing to stretch, shaking off the cold grasp of the nightmare. She brings a hand to her forehead, smoothing her hair back, tucking an errant strand back into the messy bun atop her head.

 

She turns back to face Kara, scanning for any sign of change. She hasn't given up hope- none of them have, this family that has surrounded Kara, has pulled Lena into their ranks.

 

But it's been nearly a week- a week of waiting, of hoping. But no change.

 

Lena hitches a hip up on the side of Kara’s bed. She slides her fingers under Kara’s, struck by how wrong the coolness of her skin feels.

 

So many small things had fallen into place over the last few days. As they waited and worked to find answers, Lena had picked through her memories. She’d found that she'd been subconsciously cataloging all the quirks, the strange coincidences, the unusual habits, the unlikely arrivals.

Kara wearing jackets but never truly reacting to the cold, spending more time marveling at the snow than shivering with the rest of them.

Kara opening her door right as Lena knocks, as if she knows Lena is there and is just waiting to welcome her in.

Kara shoveling down three piping hot slices of pizza before Lena takes just three _bites_ of salad.

 

The evidence had been there all along- she just hadn't added it up.

 

Lena is pulled from her reverie by a twitch under her fingers. Her gaze snaps to Kara’s hand, afraid she imagined- but no.

Kara's fingers _move_ , tightening ever-so-slightly around Lena’s.

 

“ _Maggie_.”

 

“What’s wrong?” Maggie asks, sliding off her perch, drawn by Lena’s tone.

 

Kara’s fingers tighten again.

 

Lena searches Kara’s face for any sign of consciousness. “Her hand- she moved.”

 

“Alex!” Maggie calls out toward the cot in the corner. “Babe wake up!”

 

There's a groan but a moment later Alex joins them, disheveled but alert. “She okay?”

 

Maggie gestures to Lena. “Tell her.”

 

Lena pulls her gaze from Kara for a moment to say to Alex, “She moved her hand. Four times now.”

 

Alex's eyes go wide and she immediately reaches for Kara’s free hand, leaning in over her sister, scanning as Lena was. “Kara? Kara can you hear me?”

 

Several beats of loaded silence pass, breaths held.

 

And then Alex starts, gaze snapping to her hand, disbelief and hope flashing across her face. “Oh my God.”

 

///

 

The voice comes back. The one that is soft and low and makes Kara think of deep night skies, of shining ocean waters, of the vibrant green of untouched forests.

 

And Kara’s not sure how much longer she can do this. The waiting, the striving, the sinking back again and again into darkness.

 

So she tries something new.

 

She lets herself float toward the surface, toward the light, unhurried. She focuses on the voice as it fills the silence, slowly growing louder.

 

Murmurs turn to almost-words.

 

She gets closer than she’s ever been. Close enough for something to take shape. Someone.

 

Close enough to reach out.

 

Close enough to wake up.

 

///

 

Kara’s eyelids flutter and Lena’s heart stutters. She squeezes the hand in hers, not daring to breathe.

 

Alex is pushing buttons- sunlamps retreat toward the ceiling, the room’s lighting raises to a soft glow.

 

She’s quick to return, leaning in. “Kara, can you hear me?” Alex asks again.

 

Kara makes a soft sound, a groan.

 

Alex glances at Lena, pure relief shining in her eyes.

 

Suddenly Kara bucks, head jerking back. Her eyes snap open only to slam shut again, face twisted. Her grip grows tighter and tighter in Lena’s and a pleading sound escapes her throat.

 

Lena shoots an alarmed look at Alex. “What’s wrong?”

 

Alex is smoothing her hands on either side of Kara’s face, trying to calm her. “You’re okay. Kara? You’re okay. You’re safe.” Kara doesn’t seem to hear her, gagging, her eyes blinking rapidly at the ceiling. An alarm goes off on the monitor.

 

“Alex!”

 

“She’s fighting the tube!”

 

“What do we do?” Maggie sounds as distressed as Lena feels.

 

Alex doesn’t answer, just climbs up on the bed, a knee on either side of Kara’s stomach, putting herself directly in Kara’s line of sight. “Kara? Sweetie you have to calm down.”

 

Alex presses her hands to either side of Kara’s head, thumbs smoothing away the scared, frustrated tears that are sliding down into Kara’s hair. “I need you to listen to me okay? There’s a tube in your throat, it’s helping you breathe.” Kara’s eyes settle on Alex’s face, wide, confused. “It’s okay. I know it’s scary but you have to relax so it can help you breathe.”

 

Kara’s movements get less frantic but more tears slip free. She doesn’t understand why she can’t swallow, can’t draw her own breath. She’s finally awake and she’s suffocating.

 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Alex’s voice is thick with her own tears. “I’m sorry, I know it’s scary.” She glances at the monitor, the machines, willing them to kick in.

 

Finally, _finally_ , the ventilator kicks back in, pushing air into Kara’s lungs.

 

Kara’s eyelids press together tightly, tears still falling, a pained huff of sound emerging around the tube in her mouth.

 

Lena drops into her seat, heart pounding, her hold on Kara’s hand a lifeline. Kara’s returning pressure is waning, but there, and it feels like a miracle.

 

Alex’s head drops forward, fingers trembling slightly as she continues to wipe Kara’s tears for her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Shhh. You’re okay. You’re okay.”

 

Maggie rubs circles along Alex’s back with one hand, her other resting on Kara’s arm, thumb swiping gently, soothingly. She swallows hard, smiles shakily over at Lena.

 

Lena tries and half succeeds in smiling back, still feeling the whiplash of joy-panic-relief.

 

The DEO medical team floods the infirmary with a flurry. Alex climbs out of their way, gently tugs Lena to stand with her along the edge of the room. Lena finds her hand in Alex’s, her own tense grip returned just as tightly. Maggie stands on her other side, shoulder pressed to Lena’s as they watch the doctors confirm the miracle they just witnessed.

 

Lena’s heart pounds.

 

_Kara. Kara. Kara._

 

She’s awake.

 

///

 

This is not how Kara imagined it would be.

 

She finally gets free of the darkness.

 

But she wakes to an inability to draw breath, her lungs unwilling to expand- and Alex is there and keeps saying it will be okay but it isn’t- and she doesn’t understand and she can’t _breathe_ and then-

 

Breath, precious breath.

 

And now there are... doctors? Doctors. Shining lights in her eyes, talking over each other. Asking questions she can’t answer because they shoved a thingy down her throat and it takes considerable effort not to panic at the pause right before each burst of oxygen is pushed into her lungs. She wants to breathe on her own. She wants Alex to come back.

 

Kara decides to ignore the doctors. She didn’t wake up for them, and they’re not doing anything to help the pain building all across her body, sparking in her chest with each forced inhale.

 

Alex was here. And she heard Maggie. They won’t have gone far.

 

Kara blinks as her eyes recover from the blinding light the doctor flashed. She frowns, squints, and when more of the room slides into focus, turns her head the couple of inches she’s able to move to the side.

 

And there, just beyond the doctors, is her sister.

 

Alex’s smile is brilliant, and probably the most beautiful thing Kara has ever seen. Maggie is giving her the full dimple treatment and between them…

 

Kara lays eyes on the dark-haired woman and swears something in her brain _pops_.

 

Kara lays eyes on Lena- oh Rao, _Lena_ \- and she _remembers_.

 

///

 

_Earlier:_

 

Kara's halfway back from assisting a floundering oil tanker along the Oregon coast when she hears it.

 

"Supergirl, we've got armed intruders at L-Corp."

 

 _Lena_.

 

A crack echoes along the coast and a churning stripe of white water is left in Kara’s wake.

 

Even as she pushes her speed to its limits, a strange calm descends. She spends a minute amount of attention on the few details Winn has to offer, the rest of her considerable focus narrowing, reaching out for one sound: Lena's heartbeat.

 

It's fast, but not panicked; steady, even though Lena's surely aware of whatever foul act is unfolding in the lobby (as she is always is- constantly in tune with the comings and goings of her company).

 

Not surprising, really. Lena is brilliant and beautiful and _brave_ in a way that makes Kara so proud to know her. Entirely courageous, the quality so deeply a part of her composition that she's completely unaware of it.

 

Just like she's unaware of her goodness, despite Kara's best efforts to point it out.

 

National City is a glint in the distance and now Kara can hear Lena calling out lockdown procedures, voice gentling to urge someone along. _"Quickly, it's alright."_

 

Kara spots the NCPD perimeter, just barely remembering the promise she made- the one she's so far been successful in keeping- to look before she leaps.

 

She's descending toward Maggie when Lena's heartbeat skitters.

 

_"Jess, no!"_

 

A fist strikes someone's cheek and Kara's feet crack through several inches of pavement when she lands.

 

Lena's outraged cry is followed by a steady stream of curses. Kara starts breathing again when Jess chimes in with an impressively crafted threat.

 

Still crouched, fists shaking at her sides, Kara waits to stand until the burning behind her eyes fades.

 

(The only reasons she hasn't already snapped the arms of the men currently manhandling Lena is she can hear them trying to detain, not harm, and they haven't badly hurt anyone- yet.

 

That and she really, truly, is trying to strategize first and punch second.)

 

_Hold on, Lena. I'm coming._

 

Kara gets the run-down from Maggie, scanning the building and confirming or updating intel as they go, ear constantly tuned to Lena.

 

They make a plan.

 

The moment she has her directive Kara is through a window on one of the lower floors, pieces of a rifle crumbling from her hands and the sniper manning it tossed through a wall.

 

He'll be fine. It was just drywall. Mostly.

 

"One down, fourth floor."

 

No response through her earpiece. She closes her eyes, sifting through the sounds until she hones in on a strange humming frequency.

 

Her second and third attempts to hail Maggie or Winn go unanswered, and as Kara speeds to the next gunman's perch she notes with resignation that this is starting to feel like a trap.

 

But it doesn't matter.

 

There are several hundred heartbeats between Kara and the rhythm that's becoming as familiar as Alex's. And she's going to keep them safe- every single one of them.

 

//

 

The second gunman only has time to utter a surprised grunt.

 

//

 

The third is waiting for her.

 

//

 

He's got his hands up, teeth bared in the mimic of a smile.

 

 _Trap_ , says a voice that sounds a lot like Alex.

 

Kara stops across the room from him.

 

"Where's Lillian?" She calls out.

 

"Funny you should ask." He says, gesturing to his earpiece. "Boss lady wants to talk to you."

 

 _Trap_.

 

Kara focuses on the voice coming through the small piece of metal, its source echoing distantly above them.

 

"Supergirl, how good of you to join us." Lillian sounds genuinely pleased.

 

_Trappiest of traps._

 

"I'll get straight to the point. Join us on the roof or I bring down the building."

 

Kara's gaze snaps to the man in front of her but his sick smile just widens.

 

"My men have placed charges throughout the structure," Lillian continues. "Even you can't get to them all before I trigger the detonation."

 

The _thwip-thwip-thwip_ of helicopter blades joins Lillian's voice.

 

Kara weighs the possibility it's a bluff against the certainty of a trap.

 

Not enough time to find and disarm any potential bombs.

 

Not enough time to fly out and warn the others.

 

Lena's heartbeat thudding steadily atop the roof.

 

Kara nods at the man in front of her. He speaks into the earpiece, "Headed your way."

 

///

 

Someone's screaming.

 

Kara tell who, can't move, is overwhelmed by sparking coils of electricity burning up and down her skin.

 

Brightness bursts behind her eyes. Every muscle is locked, cramped as tightly as possible. Kara feels her bones creak and then-

 

_Oh thank Rao._

 

With a loud whir, the alien weapon that triggered the moment she set foot on the roof finally turns off.

 

Kara pants, her forehead pressed to the rooftop.

 

_Definitely a trap._

 

Her muscles continue to twitch and contract involuntarily. She digs her fingers into the gravel, breathing shallowly through the seizing.

 

As she comes back to herself her hearing narrows in on one voice.

 

Lena.

 

Lena is shouting.

 

She's got to get up, get Lena-

 

Someone grabs Kara's arm, leveraging her to her feet. They let go and she sways but manages to stay upright.

 

Lillian is there. She stalks forward slowly, each movement predatory.

 

Beyond her, Lena is struggling against the men holding her. Distraught, but unharmed- thank Rao.

 

Lillian smiles sharply. "Supergirl, what a pleasant surprise."

 

Diffused sunlight glints off something in Lillian's hand.

 

Lena shouts and Kara registers the familiar sickening sensation of Kryptonite.

 

“No!”

 

_Crack._

 

She staggers.

 

Looks down.

 

Blood drips out of her suit.

 

A creeping, cold sensation spreads from the base of her spine.

 

Lillian steps closer and leans in.

 

"You can still escape," she whispers. She raises one eyebrow, mocking. "Fly away Supergirl. Save yourself."

 

But they both know she can't.

 

The trap is sprung. Kara hasn't got the strength the run away, much less fly.

 

And they both know she won't.

 

Not without Lena.

 

Kara looks at Lillian and all she sees is hate.

 

"Mother, stop! PLEASE!" Lena pleads.

 

Kara loves her for trying. But it's no use.

 

Lillian fires again.

 

Kara feels this one- feels it tear into- _through_ her.

 

She staggers back further.

 

Hot blood slips between her fingers.

 

She can feel it- her body trying desperately to heal, trying to stitch back together. The kryptonite, lodged somewhere inside her ribs, stealing her strength, her breath. Her life.

 

“Please! Don’t do this!” Lena shouts.

 

"This is for your own good," Lillian says.

 

Kara locks gazes with Lena.

 

There’s so much she didn’t get to say.

 

The wind gusts and Kara can feel the gaping drop at her back.

 

Kara smiles, offering Lena the only thing she’s got left.

 

She lets it all show: affection and gratefulness and _if only we had more time_.

 

_I’m right here._

 

_I believe in you._

 

She lets Lena see: not Supergirl, not Kara Danvers, but Kara Zor-El.

 

_I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you._

 

She allows the sorrow to break through, for the promises she can’t keep, the ones about to be taken from her.

 

_You’re not going to lose me._

 

_I will always protect you._

 

And Kara sees. Sees the spark of recognition in Lena’s eyes.

 

_I think I lo-_

 

The last shot knocks her back.

 

Kara falls.

 

///

 

_Now:_

 

Lena’s chest tightens further and further as the medical staff flit around Kara, throwing out words like _abnormal response_ , and _pulse ox_ , and _pneumonia risk._

 

She hates this.

 

She hates their clinical terms. Hates that the glimpses she gets of Kara between their white coats show Kara staring up at the ceiling. Hates that they don’t seem to notice Kara’s jaw clenched, her forehead creased in pain, that they aren’t making it _better_.

 

She’s about to step forward and insist- Alex’s hold on her be damned- when Kara shifts ever so slightly, eyes sliding to the side, landing on the three of them.

 

Alex barks a sound that’s half-sob, half-laugh and Lena folds her free hand around Alex’s forearm, squeezing in agreement of the sentiment. Maggie wiggles her fingers at Kara, hoping she can see it, that she knows they’re right here.

 

There’s a spark of recognition, of emotion, when Kara sees Alex, when her eyes slide left to Maggie.

 

But when her gaze settles on Lena she just… stares.

 

Lena’s breath catches and a blur of thoughts pass through her mind.

 

She’s been out so long. She crashed so many times. She could have brain damage, memory loss, irreversible mental and emotional trauma-

 

Or-

 

Maybe she remembers Lena just fine. Remembers that she stood there on that roof and watched as Lena’s mother _shot_ her-

 

Maybe she blames Lena-

 

Maybe she-

 

But then it happens.

 

Kara- _her Kara_ \- looks at her and-

 

And it’s very nearly the same look Supergirl gave her atop the roof: sorrow and comfort and knowing and… _love_.

 

Fresh tears slide down Kara’s cheek and Lena pushes away from the wall.

 

She ignores the medical staff, dropping to her knees beside Kara’s head. With soft, soft hands she frames Kara’s face, fingers smoothing away tears and gently brushing back strands of soft blonde hair.

 

She's seen Kara vulnerable, gazing into the night sky, the loss of her world painted across her features. She's seen her angry, determined, protective, steel shining in her eyes. She's seen her proud, confident, hopeful- spreading her light to everyone she touches.

  
And a few rare, precious times, Lena has seen something she can now explain- a smile different from the one she gives freely to the masses. Softer, with a fondness that Lena still can't quite believe would be directed at her.

 

Kara looks at her now with that same fondness and Lena smiles back, her own tears slipping free.

 

“I know,” she says.”I know.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you guys we'd eventually get free of the angst ;) 
> 
> Whew! Sorry for the long break between chapters- life, you know? 
> 
> Ok and our show is BACK and can we talk about how great the first two eps of Season 3 been???
> 
> I had this chapter finished on Sunday and watching Kara remember and react to Krypton exploding and her time in space in 3x02- not gonna lie, I felt pretty pleased that I didn't have to change anything I'd written to keep it canon.
> 
> I'd love to hear your reactions to both the chapter and the beginning of the new season- shout at me in the comments or over on tumblr!
> 
> Oh also, any mistakes or oversight on the medical stuff is my bad and due to my ignorance and impatience when researching- hopefully it's not too distracting for those of you who know better. Cheers!


	9. Going Home

J’onn adjusts again, the chair at Kara's bedside not built for a frame his size. In the dim light he flips to the next page of the report in his hands.

 

It's the deepest hours of the morning. Now that Kara is awake and on the road to recovery, he'd ordered everyone home for a minimum of four hours, and they’d all reluctantly agreed.

 

James had offered to make sure Winn made it home safe, the tech just barely upright, coffee no longer capable of keeping him awake.

 

Alex had initially protested but acquiesced with a little prodding from Maggie and a stern look from Eliza.

 

Lena had given him an assessing look and probably would've argued that she doesn't work for him and therefore can do as she pleases. But then Vasquez and Lucy had asked if they might give Lena a ride, noting they could utilize the opportunity to double check her security measures and discuss adding a DEO detail to Lena’s personal security team.

 

And so he'd taken the night watch for himself.

 

A slight shift in Kara’s breathing draws J’onn’s attention. Her eyes blink open and she smiles at him sleepily.

 

"Poppa Bear,” Kara says softly, still clearly under the sway of the painkillers they'd administered a few hours ago.

 

J'onn can't help but smile back.

 

The nickname had stuck, much to his chagrin. Very few dared to utter it in his presence- he'd utilized his patented withering stare to discourage its use- but Winn and Kara refused to drop it.

 

Secretly, he's delighted, and he doesn't hide his pleasure now, eyes crinkling at the corners.

 

"As good as it is to see you awake, you should be resting." He squeezes her hand. "Try to go back to sleep."

 

He's quite certain there are no traces on his face of the reflecting he’d done in the quiet darkness of the room- mourning for the daughters he'd lost and confronting the reality of nearly losing another. But she looks at him and he wonders- not for the first time- if mind-reading isn’t one of her powers too. There's a crease between her brows and a certain _knowing_ in her gaze.

 

"You're okay?" She asks.

 

He huffs a small laugh at that, his heart swelling with affection for her. "Yes, I am. Now rest, please."

 

She looks at him another long moment before settling back into the pillow with a sigh, her hand tightening in his.

 

J'onn settles in as well, and when Alex returns- exactly four hours later- he's asleep in the chair, still holding Kara's hand.

  


///

  
  


Kara spends the next several days in a hazy cycle of pain, sleep, and semi-consciousness.

 

Between the drugs and her injuries, she gets to keep only snippets of time:

 

The barely-there sensation of lips pressed to her knuckles.

 

Alex- beautiful Alex. Tense, but smiling and alive and _here_.

 

(Kara wondering if she will ever stop fearing for the moment when those things are not true.)

 

Light glinting off Maggie’s ring as she squeezes Alex’s shoulder.

 

Sharp pain dragging her into consciousness. (More than once?)

 

The deep blue of James’ shirt, half vibrant from the cast of the sunlamps, half muted in shadow. His arms rising and falling slowly, crossed across his chest as he sleeps.

 

Sweet warmth pooling in her chest at the sound of Winn’s laughter.  

 

Someone telling her she doesn’t have her powers right now. How strangely familiar that sounds.

 

Lucy and J’onn with their heads bent close, both looking entirely too satisfied when she has to ask what they’re talking about.

 

Bright, watery eyes- Eliza’s. Deft hands fussing just enough to bring about the sensation of being a kid again under her mother’s care. Bittersweet aching.

 

Gentle fingers wiping tears away.

 

And Lena.

 

Soft tapping filling the early-morning silence. Waves of dark hair tossed over one shoulder, the screen light painting her face in contrasting hues. Kara’s fingers itching for her paints.

 

Eye contact made from across the room, the buzz of a conversation she wasn’t following fading into the background.

 

Quiet words whispered into the slumbering dimness, too soft for Kara to hear.

 

_Lena._

 

Always there. In the background or foreground of each and every snippet.

 

Alex, too- Alex, who holds her hand through the pain. Who reassures her each time she wakes in a fog of confusion and hurt. Reminds her where she is and what happened and that they’re all okay.

 

Alex, who lends Kara her strength as she always has. Who grounds her amidst the choppy waves of uncertainty.

 

But Lena...

 

Lena, who she’d last seen on the roof, beautiful and distraught against churning grey skies.

 

Lena, who had been taken- who she hadn’t been able to save.

 

Lena, whose voice continues to be a beacon in the dark.

  


As Kara gains more time each day, more minutes awake and coherent, every glimpse of Lena is a balm. The aching worry that had chased her into unconsciousness eases.

 

And the longer Kara’s awake, the more she’s able to grasp firmly that this, here, is real.

 

Alex kept her promise.

 

_We’re all going to be okay._

  


///

  


Kara wakes again to pain- pain that is deep and persistent and makes her want to throw up. She’s thinking she may do just that when a flood of something cool spreads from her arm through her chest.

 

“Better?”

 

Kara opens her eyes to find a worried Lena leaning over her. Kara nods, the nauseous feeling subsiding along with the sharpest edges of the pain. “Thank you,” she whispers.

 

Lena smiles with everything but her eyes. She fusses with Kara’s blanket, tucking it gently around her feet, smoothing out the small ridges in the grey fabric.  Kara can feel the medicine pulling her back toward slumber but she clings to consciousness, the picture in front of her not quite right.

 

Lena turns and the low light of the lamp catches on a line of butterfly bandages marching across her left brow.

 

“You’re hurt,” Kara rasps, forehead furrowed as she reaches a hand weakly toward Lena.

 

Lena’s face registers surprise and confusion before she brings a hand up to her eyebrow, fingers barely touching the bandages.

 

The smile she gives Kara is tense. “I’m fine.”

 

Lena doesn’t usually lie to Kara but this doesn’t feel like the truth. Kara frowns at her.

 

Lena takes a breath, shoulders relaxing. She sets her hand on Kara’s arm. “I am, I promise.”

 

It’s only marginally more convincing, but everything feels heavy and Kara’s eyes slip closed of their own accord.

 

The warmth disappears from her arm and Kara reaches out blindly, pleased when she makes contact with Lena’s hand. She threads her fingers through Lena’s, hoping they say what she wants to but can’t:

 

_Stay._

  


///

  


Kara drifts.

  


///

  


Lena stays.

  


///

  
  


Maggie strides through the DEO corridors, coffee tray in one hand, texting her partner with the other. They’ve gotten a break in one of their cases and she won’t be able to join the crew moving Kara out of the infirmary today- the least she can do is provide the caffeine.

 

She finds Lena perched on a bench outside Kara’s room, the clacking of her laptop keys a purposeful staccato that echoes in the hallway.

 

Maggie drops next to Lena and waits. Lena types a few mores sentences, shuts her laptop with a click, and finally greets Maggie. “Sorry. Had to finish my thought.”

 

Maggie smiles easily and hands Lena the cup with “Boss Lady” scribbled across the side. “No worries. How’s work?”

 

“It’s fine. I’ve got Jess- you remember Jess?” Maggie nods. “-filling in as interim CEO, so the everyday functions are running smoothly. It’s the board I’m keeping an eye on.” Lena takes a long drink, savoring the warm liquid. “About half are old holdouts from the LuthorCorp days and they’re a bunch of vultures.” She makes a circular motion in the air with the base of her cup, then gives Maggie a wry grin. “Always circling.”

 

Despite the smile, Maggie sees the canny edge, the sharp intelligence that lies beneath it. She’s quite certain Lena has the board exactly where she wants them.

 

She gives Lena a smirk of her own. “I’m sure you’ve got it handled.”

 

Lena just smiles demurely.

 

Maggie barks a laugh. Oh, they don’t stand a chance.

 

She sets the tray to one side, plucking her own coffee from it and takes a sip as she extends her feet out in front of her. “She about ready to go?”

 

Lena looks across the hall to the closed shades of Kara’s room. “They’re just doing final checks- fresh bandages, all of that.”

 

Maggie watches Lena twist the band of her watch around her wrist, again and again, her attention still fixed on the infirmary room. The detective allows the silence to linger, drinking her coffee slowly.

 

Lena finally speaks. “I’m not sure this is the best option for her.”

 

Ah.

 

“It’s just- she might be more comfortable at her own place. Or with Alex- she’s the one with the medical training. And the two of you- you are much better equipped to offer protection. My mother is still out there, not to mention Lex-” She breaks off, pausing when Maggie doesn’t offer a reply.

 

They’d already talked it through, all of them, the day before last- had addressed each of the issues Lena listed.

 

So again, Maggie waits.

 

Lena holds her coffee cup in both hands, pressing her thumbs along the edges of the lid, the plastic making a soft popping sound each time they slide past the lip.

 

“I have very little experience taking care of someone. And- I want to help, I do.” Lena shakes her head. ”I’m just not certain it should be me.”

 

Closer to the heart of the issue.

 

“Why’s that?” Maggie prods.

 

Lena levels Maggie with a look that is equal parts exasperation and reluctant vulnerability.  “You know how I feel about Kara.”

 

It’s a statement.

 

They hadn’t talked about it, not outright, not yet.

 

But Maggie nods.

 

“And now there is all of _this_ ,” Lena gestures to the DEO as a whole, “and- I just want her to get better, to have space to heal.”

 

Lena frowns, earnest and conflicted. “We’re... it’s more complicated now. And what if that’s not the best thing for her, while she’s healing?” Quieter: “What if _I’m_ not the best thing for her?”

 

Maggie thinks about one of their recent movie nights, when she’d caught the younger Danvers admiring Lena as she watched. Maggie had raised an eyebrow, silently challenging Kara to deny what Maggie had seen developing for some time.

 

Kara had simply tilted her head and smiled.

 

Maggie takes another drink, feels Lena waiting for her response.

 

“You know Kara. As Kara Danvers, she's this earnest, adorable dork- and that's what sells the mild-mannered reporter bit. But with you-” Maggie tilts her head, turning to face Lena. “With you she loses some of that, shifts closer to Supergirl. And she is both- Kara Danvers and Supergirl.

 

But I think her truest self is somewhere in the middle. And whether you realized it or not, that’s who she is with you.”

 

Maggie pauses to let Lena absorb that. “You did, and can continue to give her a space to be who she really is. She’s going to need that- now more than ever.”

 

“Just be for her what you’ve always been- someone who cares about her, who wants what’s best for her. Someone she can lean on. And you won’t be alone- we’re all going to be there to help her heal. You guys will figure out the rest.”

 

The door opens then and both women stand as Alex wheels Kara out into the hall.

 

Lena’s face does something soft and complex.

 

Kara spots Lena and beams.

  
  


 

Yep. They’ll figure out the rest.

  
  


///

  
  


Lena opens the driver’s door and walks around to Kara's side, opening hers as well. Kara doesn’t move but for the slight shifting of the muscle along her jaw.

 

It was as bad as Lena thought, then.

 

Kara finally rolls her head slightly in Lena's direction, something between a grimace and a smile on her face.

 

"Take your time, there's no rush," Lena says gently.

 

Kara takes a deep breath. "Thanks."

 

She slowly braces herself against the dash and with Lena's help gets enough leverage to turn in the seat a little at a time until she's facing Lena. Lena's got her hands braced under Kara's forearms and Kara rests her forehead against Lena's shoulder, letting Lena take her weight. "Give me a second."

 

Lena squeezes her arms in response, heart aching at the pain Kara's in. "Like I said, no rush."

 

She glances away, gauging the distance from the car to the ground, and from the car to the elevator, the elevator to her door. She bites her lip.

 

They should’ve insisted on the wheelchair.

 

But Kara was so determined, so proud when she’d finally made it down the hall and back with just a cane to lean on.

 

Lena thinks again about the arrangement they’ve all agreed to. She and Kara will have to figure this out, how she can help Kara get around, how to do so without hurting her, but- she looks down at Kara, who is still leaning against her, taking even, shallow breaths, her hands trembling a bit under Lena's.

 

They'll figure it out- but it doesn't have to be today.

 

Lena catches James' eye, a small tilt of her head asking him to come over. He passes his load off to Winn, who staggers comically under the weight before straightening with a grin and a wink and continuing toward the door.

 

James assesses the situation quickly as he walks over. He gives Lena a reassuring smile and then leans casually against the side of the vehicle.

"How's my favorite alien?"

 

Lena feels Kara chuckle into her shirt.

 

Kara turns her head to squint at him. "I'm telling Clark you said that.”

 

He just smiles bigger and shrugs. "He already knows."

 

He pushes off the car, facing Lena and then dropping into a formal bow, complete with a goofy little hand flair. "May I cut in?" As if it was his idea, as if he just wants some extra time with Kara.

 

Kara chuckles again and Lena could kiss him for how she feels some of the tension leave Kara's body, how he's able to make Kara- both of them, actually- more at ease.

 

"I suppose, Mr. Olson. If you must." Lena can't help grinning back at him.

 

He squeezes Lena's shoulder in reassurance as he moves to take her spot in front of Kara.

 

Lena watches as James gently helps Kara out of the car, taking the time to explain what he's going to do before they move so she can brace properly. Lena's incredibly thankful- not just for his physical strength, which is allowing them to pause whenever Kara needs, sometimes in awkward spots where Lena suspects only his muscular frame is keeping them in place- but for just, being _James_.

  


It's something that continues to surprise her. Not that James is good and kind and loyal and warm- after all, Kara loves him and she seems to attract the best kinds of people, James among them.

 

What surprises her is that the best friend of the man her brother nearly killed continually extends his friendship, that warmness, to _her_. Lena had started coming to game nights and what she thought would be one of the most difficult relationships to navigate had been one of the easiest- James has been consistently kind and welcoming, without any qualifiers.

 

Winn joins them on their way to the elevator, back for another load, his cheerful banter making Kara smile.

 

Lena supports Kara as they rise to her floor, thinking again about all the people she's gained since Kara came into her life.

  
  


///

  
  


They make it upstairs and James carefully deposits Kara onto the living room couch. She leans her head back, eyes closed. Lena sees her chest rise and fall with a relieved exhale.

 

James asks Kara, “You’re sure you’re okay here? There’s a bed only a few yards away.”

 

She peeks one eye open, looking toward the bedroom. “I’m good here.”

 

James and Lena share a look. Kara would probably feel better sleeping in a bed, but the trip from the car was a marathon. They silently agree she’ll be okay on the couch for a little while.

 

James moves toward the door. “I’ll see if Winn needs any help.”

 

Lena nods her thanks and begins to unpack the bags and boxes they’d already brought up. She finds a spot for the flowers and cards- well-wishes from DEO agents and Catco co-workers (Kara Danvers had been caught in the crossfire at L-Corp, is recovering in a private hospital paid for by her grateful billionaire best friend). The medicine and bandages and medical equipment she’ll leave until Alex gets here. Her work satchel she tucks under the desk.

She lifts the small duffel of clothing she’d accumulated, and stops by the couch on her way to the laundry room.

 

Kara’s out, her breathing shallow and even.

 

Lena allows herself a moment. She studies the features of her friend. She catalogues the splash of bruises, the crisp bandage across Kara’s temple. The dark smudges under Kara’s eyes seem darker now, without the brightness of her eyes, without her smile to back up her reassurement that she’s okay.

 

“Your biometric locks are good.”

 

Lena startles at the voice behind her, composed when she turns. “Thank you, Director Lane.”

 

Despite the professional facade, Lucy Lane has the look of someone who takes great pleasure in being stealthy. Lena steps away from Kara, pitching her voice low. “Anything else I need to know?”

 

Lucy shakes her head. “You’re all good. It’s already coded to the people we discussed. You’ve got Vasquez and Winn’s numbers if you run into trouble, though I imagine _you_ could solve any tech problems just as quickly.” A smile that’s laced with respect. “Alex will finish setting up the sun lamps when she gets here.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Lucy gives one last look at Kara.

 

It had been interesting, meeting the DEO’s other Director. Upon first introduction, Lena wouldn’t have guessed that the fiery, sharp woman was anything other than the respected operations commander she appeared to be.

 

But Lena saw the way Lucy inserted herself into their crisis these last weeks. How she brought steadiness, how she cared for people without looking like she was doing it. How she spent as many hours as the rest of them, keeping vigil.

 

How only her eyes now betray her relief at seeing Kara asleep on the couch, how they reveal the responsibility Lucy feels- for all of them.

 

Stealthy.

 

They have a strange amount in common- driven, intelligent, the younger child striving to emerge from their famous siblings’ shadows. Powerful parents with misguided ideals. Layers of history and old wounds.

 

Lucy heads for the door. “Oh and Lena?”

 

Lena looks up from where her gaze had again been drawn to Kara.

 

“Call me Lucy, would you?”

 

They share a look- a silent acknowledgement of their common ground and common causes.

Lena nods. “Have a good night Lucy.”

  
  


///

  
  


Lena hears the _beep-click_ of the new door locks. She hangs the blouse she’d just pulled from the dryer before walking out to the living room.

 

Alex is in the midst of shedding the bags she’d brought, slowly lowering them to the ground. She smiles at Lena and whispers, “Thanks for the text.”

 

Lena nods. They both look over to the couch and the woman sleeping there.

 

“Should we wake her to move to the bedroom?” Lena asks.

 

Alex tilts her wrist to check the time. “Let’s wait. She’s due for pain meds in an hour, we can do it then.”

 

Lena stoops, picking up a duffle with each hand. She tilts her head. “I’ll take these to the guest room.”

 

“Thanks.” Alex nods but doesn’t follow.

 

When Lena glances back down the hall from the bedroom door she sees Alex standing at the couch. One of Alex’s hands hovers tentatively over Kara’s head. Her fingers curl together and she pulls away for a moment, only to slowly reach out and brush back some of Kara’s hair, leaning in to press a kiss to the top of her head. Something glints off Alex’s cheek.

 

Lena turns away, stepping inside the guest room.

 

She deposits the bags on the bed and begins unpacking, sorting everything into piles. A few minutes later Alex joins her, a thoughtful silence settling between the two as they work.

 

Lena pauses when the last bag is empty, looking at the neat stacks of clothing- mostly loose, comfortable items: sweatshirts and oversized sweaters and worn-soft t-shirts, enough clothing for a long stay. Alex has added new piles to Lena’s: underwear, pajamas, and toiletries. Lena picks up a pile of shirts.

 

“Is it okay if I…?”

 

She gestures to the dresser.

 

“Yeah, she won’t mind.” Alex gathers the empty bags and tucks them beneath the bed. “Have you got the stuff from the DEO?”

 

“By the kitchen counter.”

 

“Thanks.” Alex leaves, returning to set up the portable sun lamps- a condition of Kara’s release from the infirmary. She plunks down on the floor and starts assembling the equipment.

  


Silence settles again, and as Lena tucks Kara’s clothing into drawers, she finds her thoughts drawn to the strange intimacy of the action.

 

She only did it a couple times for Jack- despite living together, laundry wasn’t a domestic endeavor they shared. It was mostly when he left stacks of folded clothing on her side of the bed, having been distracted from completing the task by one idea or another. He used to claim that the repetitive act of folding stimulated his neurons.

  


She went to Lex’s the week after the trial. Wandered around, looking for signs of where it had all gone wrong, some sort of absolution for the guilt she felt- that she hadn’t seen it sooner, hadn’t stopped him before he did the inconceivable. Ended up finding, of all things, his laundry room. One that he apparently used. Lex Luthor, the brilliant madman, doing his own laundry. She pulled the load of wrinkled designer button-ups from his dryer and started to fold them, the absurdity of it bringing her to a fit of giggles, the devastation of his loss eventually dissolving her into a weary pile on the floor.

  


“I didn’t get the chance to say it before.”

 

Alex’s voice pulls her from her reverie. “Sorry, what?” Lena asks.

 

“I didn’t get the chance to say thank you- for having Kara here.”

 

“Oh. Of course.”

 

Alex leans back against the wall, head tilted in a way that’s endearingly familiar- just a shade different from the way Kara does it, but with the same inquisitive angle. “How are you holding up?”

 

Lena sits on the end of the bed, one of Kara’s sweatshirts still in her hands. She refolds it in her lap, using the motion as an excuse to gather her thoughts.

 

She reminds herself of the fledgling friendship they started some months ago. Remembers the relief in Alex’s eyes when she showed up in the Cadmus facility. That Alex came to find her on the balcony. Alex’s hand tight in hers as Kara finally woke.

 

She remembers the promise Alex kept- and that she would have come for Lena anyway.

 

She reminds herself that she’s trying to open up, to let more people in. That Alex is the kind of person worthy of that vulnerability and trust.

 

Fingers curled around Kara’s sweatshirt, Lena says, “I’m… exhausted. And terrified I’m going to mess this up somehow.” She forces her grip on the cloth to relax, rubs it between her fingers instead. “I don’t have a great record keeping the people I care for safe.”

 

Lena looks up then, and Alex’s eyes tell Lena that she _knows_ \- knows what it is to be responsible for the lives of others, to feel the weight of loss and choice and regret.

 

“Lena?” Kara’s voice sounds from the living room.

 

“Coming!” Lena calls out.

 

“Hey.” Alex stands, the word pausing Lena in her movement toward the door.  

 

She joins Lena, waits until Lena meets her gaze in that earnest Danvers way. “We do the best we can. And by my count, you’re doing just fine.”

 

It’s been a long time since anyone reminded Lena this strongly of Lex- of the way he could see to the heart of her worries, could find the words she needed to hear. Of the way he made her feel understood, protected.

 

It’s been a long time since anyone has been family to her like this.

 

She doesn’t know what to say, but it doesn’t matter because Alex just gives her a small smile.

 

“Let’s go check on our girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, still alive. Sorry it took so long to update this- lost someone in my family this fall and the holidays were rough. Thanks to everyone who found this in the meantime, and those of you still reading- ya'll are wonderful.

**Author's Note:**

> Had to write something when I couldn't draw my way out of this sketch:
> 
> http://storyiicharacter.tumblr.com/post/160676192075/anyone-want-to-help-a-girl-out-and-write-their-way
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Come geek out with me: storyiicharacter.tumblr.com


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